Another Blonde Named Lila
by Hazey Skies
Summary: He figured this would be another one time encounter. But with her being JJ's cousin, he had a better shot of seeing her again.
1. Henry's First Birthday Party

I wanted to give a Criminal Minds fanfic a shot. Let me know if you like it/don't like it/have suggestions/questions/concerns/whatever.

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There was a knock at the door. "I got it!" I yelled as I was the closest one there. I looked through the peephole and instantly recognized him from the countless pictures and stories JJ had told me. With a smile, I opened the door. "Ah, Dr. Reid," I said and watched the confused look on his face. "Welcome. Please, come in." I stepped aside so he could walk in. I knew he had been to JJ and Will's apartment before so he knew he was in the right place but that didn't help the confusion that was still plastered on him. "Oh, is that a gift for Henry?" I asked, noticing the colorful bag in his hand. "I'll take that. JJ has a table set up." I snatched it from him before he could say anything and went into the next room. There a table had been placed specifically for Henry's presents. Despite there not being too many guests, the little one-year-old had accumulated quite a haul.

JJ and Henry came out of the kitchen and stopped next to me. "Hey, who was that?" JJ asked, holding Henry in her arms. His face was splotchy and his eyes were watery like he had just been crying.

"Oh, it was Spencer." I gently ran my hand through Henry's hair. He turned away from me. "What's wrong birthday boy? Are you having your one year life crisis?"

JJ laughed, "No, he's just upset Mommy wouldn't let him have cake before dinner. Daddy should be back with real food soon but I bet seeing Uncle Spencer in the meantime will make you feel better, huh?" Henry just sniffled in response as JJ went into the living room to greet the newest guest while I followed.

"JJ!" Spencer said excitedly when he saw her. "And Henry! Happy birthday, buddy!" he said with a huge grin on his face. Henry just buried his face into JJ's shoulder, still upset about his lack of cake.

"Thanks for coming, Spence," JJ said, adjusting Henry so he could look see Spencer. "He's upset he can't have cake yet. By the way, since I'm sure she didn't introduce herself, this is my cousin, Lila O'Haul."

I stuck out my hand as my cousin introduced me. "Nice to officially meet you, Dr. Spencer Reid," I said with a smile. He politely waved his greetings. "What's the matter? Not a hand shaker?" I asked.

"No, not really," he said, "the number of pathogens passed during a handshake are staggering. It's actually safer to kiss." A split second passed before he realized what he said and I saw his face flush.

"I don't normally kiss people right off the bat, but for someone as attractive as you, I think I can make an exception," I said with a wink, earning a grown from JJ.

"Lila," JJ said with an eye roll. "Don't be weird." With an exasperated head shake, she and Henry left to talk to Emily who had arrived earlier with Arron.

"I, uh," he said, his face continuing to grow red, "I didn't mean- it's just that handshakes- what I meant was-" He was probably wishing JJ had stayed close by.

I couldn't help but laugh. He was so flustered. "Hey," I said kindly, "I get it. I was just messing with you. But if you do want to kiss me, I'm not opposed." I could tell that flirting with him was going to be very amusing.

"So," he said, his face still red, "how did you know my name?" Ah, changing the subject. Nice move.

"JJ has told me enough stories about you guys. And shown me plenty of pictures, especially the ones where you guys are with Henry. It's not that hard to figure out who you are."

"Lila! You're here!" I turned to see Penelope come running at me and engulf me into a huge hug. "JJ said you were gonna be in town for Henry's party and I'm so happy you are! I've missed you like crazy girl!"

"Aw! I've missed you too, Penny!" I said and hugged her back.

"Nice to see you again, Lila," Derek said from behind Penelope and I smiled.

"Am I the only one here who hasn't met her before?" I heard Spencer ask Derek.

"Garcia and I met her a couple months ago when she was last out here. We were going out to the movies and she wanted to drop some gifts off for Henry - you know how Garcia gets with shopping for that boy - and when we came up, Lila was here. She's pretty cool. Garcia and her hit if off right away. I think they got lunch a few times," Derek explained to Spencer as Penelope fussed over my clothes and hair and makeup and just about everything.

"We need to have another night out while you're still in town, you hear me? No excuses." Penelope looked me right in the eyes as she talked, making sure her point got across.

"Penny, when have I ever said no to a night out?"

"Touche, my little Blondie." Garcia and I continued to chat as we both needed to get caught up with each other's lives. Spencer had walked away and was talking to Derek and JJ.

David Rossi was next to arrive and I was beyond thrilled to meet him. I've read all his books and absolutely adored his work. On a whim I decided to go see him at my local book store after his first book was published and he was touring. I even got the book signed by him. I had no idea that that would change my life and inspire me to go into the criminal justice field of study and work. I guess it's a family trait as he inspired JJ into that line of work as well.

I was nervous about meeting him so I kind of hid in the kitchen, getting plates and silver wear together for when Will arrives. "Hey." JJ entered the kitchen and walked up to me. She leaned on the counter.

"Hey. Where's Henry?"

"Garcia hijacked him from me. Not that I mind the break. That boy gets heavy after a while." I couldn't help but laugh. Henry is a very solid baby. "Anyways, Rossi is here. I figured you'd want to meet him with a formal introduction."

"I do, but I'm nervous," I confessed softly so no one else would hear me.

"I promise you, there's nothing to be nervous about. Rossi's a really great guy. He might look a bit intimidating but his bark is worse than his bite." JJ lightly touched my arm and that made me feel better.

"I'm back!" I head the door open and Will holler as he walked in. Perfect timing.

"I'll go help Will!" I quickly went to Will and helped in carry the bags of food in. We both set the bags down on the kitchen counter and started to unload them. JJ had left and I was kind of grateful for that.

Once all the food (they got some of the best chicken in the DC area) had been set out I went to the bathroom to go wash my hands. Spencer was already in there, drying his off. I should have known he'd be the first one to wash away hand germs.

"Hey, Spencer," I said sweetly.

"Oh, uh, hi, Lila." He still seemed nervous around me. I figured it was because of our very forward exchange earlier. I felt a bit bad about it. I didn't want to traumatize the poor guy. JJ has told me more than once that he's not the most social person and tends to be a bit awkward. Especially around females.

We made eye contact from a few seconds before I noticed the color start to change on his face again. With a light cough, he quickly looked down and started to exit the bathroom at a faster than average pace. "Hey, Spence," I called after him and he stopped. "I am sorry for making you uncomfortable earlier. I like to tease but I don't mean any malice by it."

"I, uh- thanks." He met my eyes again and gave me a swift smile before heading back. I smiled too as I proceeded to wash my hands.

When I got back to the group, they all had their plates of food and were getting settled in. I got myself some food as well and looked for a place to sit. I noticed that JJ made sure to leave a seat next to Rossi open for me. Guess now is the time to actually go and talk to him.

"Hi," I said pretty meekly as I sat down. "I'm Lila O'Haul."

"You're JJ's cousin right? She was telling me about you. I'm David Rossi but from how JJ talks you already know that."

I blushed. "Yeah. I'm a bit of a fan of your work."

"JJ says I signed a book for you on one of my tours. Forgive me for not recalling that." The way he talked was so gentle and sincere. Even though I've known him for about sixty seconds, the way he speaks makes it seem like we're two long lost friends.

"Oh, that's quite alright," I said, picking at my chicken. "That was a long time ago and I'm sure you've signed millions more books since then."

"I wouldn't say millions, but my signature has shortened over the years," he said with a smile. "So are you from the area?"

"No, actually, I'm from Seattle. I moved there with my mom when I was in high school. But I like to come and see JJ and Henry whenever I have a vacation from work," I said with a pleasant smile.

"Where do you work?" he asked.

"I work with the Seattle law enforcement. Seeing what JJ does and after reading all of your books, it really inspired me to go into some kind of police work."

"Really? Well that's very nice to hear," he said and smiled at me. "I'm glad I could be that inspiration for you."

I couldn't help but blush a little. One of my work idols is happy he inspired me. That's just amazing. "So, uh, I kinda do what JJ does. I work with the media and HR trying to keep things from getting out of control. I've also taken the data that the SPD have on local killers and compiled some profiles one them. I'm hoping that this can help with future catching killers. By comparing them to things we already know and what signs to look for, we can hopefully build better profiles and catch the bad guys quicker. At least, that's my goal for this project. It's still in the early phases though." I know he didn't ask me what I do but it felt like the right thing to say.

"That's really impressive," he said and I felt my chest swell with pride. "If you ever need help with it, or just want someone to look over your work, feel free to send it to me. I'd love to see it."

"I will, thank you, sir."

"Call me David. Or Rossi. Whichever." I was probably going to stick with calling him 'sir'.

After dinner, Henry was pleased when we were finally able to have cake. JJ got him his own smash cake. He wasn't quite sure what to do with it at first and only suck his fingers gently in it. With some encouragement from his mom and dad, he started to grab big chucks of cake and shove them into his mouth. Most of it ended up on his face, however.

I mingled more with the team as we ate cake. They all were very friendly towards me and I got along with all of them. Spencer even seemed a little more at ease now that I wasn't flirting with him.

"Tomorrow is our day off," Penelope said, finishing off her cake, "we are going out, ok? All of us. Lila, this includes you."

"Wouldn't miss it," I said with a smile.

"Excellent! We're gonna go to this bar and we're gonna have a great time and Reid-" I noticed Spencer had opened his mouth, "don't you dare argue because you're going. Derek and I will pick you up," she said, shooting a glare at Reid.

"But you know I'm not good at dancing," he protested.

"Hey," I said, "neither am I. Just get drunk. Drunk Lila is a hell of a lot better at dancing than Sober Lila."

"Actually, alcohol lowers your inhibition making you not as concerned about what other people think of you so you're less self-conscience giving you a false sense that you're a better dancer when in reality you're probably a lot worse because alcohol also lowers motor function." He seemed to not even think twice about rattling off this fact about alcohol. I was aware about what he was saying, but I wasn't expecting him to say it.

"Don't worry, sweetie, you get used to him," Penelope said with a smile. "He's our resident boy genius. And he's going out with us tomorrow night."

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Here's the first chapter. If its well received I'll be posting the next chapter by next Monday. The next chapter will be from Spencer's point of view.


	2. Night Out

Hello there! I was gonna try to hold off on updating a few more days but I've gotten some good positive feedback so what the hell! And I really love this chapter. So here you go! Thank you everyone who's given love and support since the first chapter!

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The next night he was practically dragged out of his apartment by Garcia. He didn't understand why it was so necessary for him to go to this bar. He wasn't good at social gatherings, especially in obnoxious public places like a bar. Hotch got out of going by saying Jack was sick, why couldn't he get out?

"Come on, Reid! It'll be fun! And Lila'll be there," Garcia said said in a flirtatious tone that he did not appreciate.

"What does that have to do with anything?" he asked, feeling the heat rise a bit to his cheeks. He wasn't about to let on that he found her cute. There was no point. She wasn't from around here and he probably wouldn't see her again after tonight.

"I saw the way you were eyeing her. It's like you have a thing for blonde's named Lila." Garcia had a cheeky smile on her face as they walked arm in arm down the stairs of his building to Morgan who was waiting outside in his car. Yes, he did like Lila Archer but he hadn't thought about her in so long. It was just a coincidence that JJ's cousin also happened to be named Lila and was also a blonde and if he wasn't so annoyed about being forced to go out he might run the statistics to find out how many other blonde Lila's there were in America.

When they finally got to the bar, JJ, Will, and Lila were already there and had secured a couple of tables for them. JJ and Will were dressed normally, but it looked like Lila had decided to take a...less modest path. To him, it looked like just a roll of red fabric was all that was covering her and he found it hard to believe a gold chain was the only thing holding it up. Surely something so...small couldn't stay up and keep her covered forever? He flushed at the mere thought of that happening. That was entirely inappropriate to think of her that way.

"You guys made it!" Lila said and hugged Garcia who hugged her back instantly. It must be a girl thing to hug all the time.

"I had to drag our boy here out, but we did!" Garcia said and playfully elbowed him in the ribs.

"Hello," he said with a polite way, catching Lila's eyes and holding them for longer than he intended.

"I'm really glad you came out, Spencer," Lila said and smiled up at him. It was a pretty smile.

Within twenty minutes, Emily and Rossi had arrived. Just like Garcia, Emily and Lila hugged. It's definitely a girl thing. Once everyone was there, alcoholic drinks were ordered for everyone save him. He wasn't a fan of drinking, which earned him a few remarks from Lila who took shots like it was her true calling.

"So did you come out here just for Henry's birthday?" Emily asked once everyone had their drink.

"A little bit," Lila said with a smile. "I had already planned my vacation go to go Texas to see my dad. He's a lawyer out there. Then JJ texted and said she was having Henry's first birthday. So I made some changes and decided to come out here after I saw my dad. And I'm really pleased I did." He could have sworn she gave him a glance as she spoke. He blushed.

"Now we're stuck with her," JJ said with a playful smile and Lila laughed. He liked watching their family dynamic.

"Oh my god, I love this song. Let's dance!" Garcia said when a new song started to play. Just like all the other music, Spencer had no idea what it was or why anyone would willing want to listen to it. But to each their own.

Garcia was able to drag Morgan and Prentiss onto the dance floor. Lila was trying to convince to him to join then. "C'mon, Spencer! It'll be fun! You can prove to me how sober dancing is better than drunk dancing," she said, pulling on his sleeve.

"I'm really not good at it, Lila," he said, trying to get her to leave him be. It worked. With a pout that he hated to admit was adorable, Lila went to the dance floor to join his friends. Of course he had never seen her dance before, sober or drunk, but he thought she was pretty good. Or maybe it was just she moved her hips a lot and he liked to watch that. When he realized it was the latter he quickly turned his attention to his friends who were still sitting.

"Everything alright, Spence? You look a little red in the face?" JJ asked, sounding truly concerned.

"What? Oh, uh, yeah. Just, uh, hot in here," he stammered and shoved his face down into the pop he was drinking.

"It is kinda warm in here," Will said, coming to Spencer's aid. It was warm in the building but that wasn't the only thing making Spencer flush.

After a few more dances, Morgan came back to the table, out of breath. "Man, those girls go hard core," he said, taking a swig of his beer.

"Well Lila's a wild one and you know how Garcia can be," JJ said, laughing.

"I can see that. Reminds me of my college days," Morgan said.

"Well, she graduated from college not too long ago. She's only 24," JJ said, watching the three girls dance.

"Ah, so she's got the party bug in her, huh?" Morgan asked and laughed when JJ nodded.

"But she seems very bright," added Rossi.

"Oh, she is. Don't me wrong. She graduated college a year early by working hard. She has her Master's degree and I think she just started working on a PhD." Spencer was impressed by what JJ was saying. He didn't know of anyone else to go through college like that. She might not be (or at least he didn't think she was) a registered genius like he was, but he could appreciate how hard she worked.

"Look's like you won't be the only Doc for long," Morgan said playfully towards Spencer.

"Do you know what she's going for?" Spencer asked, genuinely curious. He was hoping it would be something math or science related. That would give him something he could talk to her about and she would actually understand. Plus he also felt more comfortable talking about subjects he was well versed in. Although he definitely knew a lot more than just what he had degrees in.

"I believe forensic psychology. At least that's what she got her Master's in," JJ said, scrunching her face as she tried to think.

"Ah," he said, a bit disappointed.

Emily eventually made it back to the table, feeling pretty good. He could tell she was under the influence as she was laughing and smiling a lot more than she usually does. "The girls miss you on the dance floor, Reid." She had substituted her alcohol for water and was sipping it as she spoke.

He gave an awkward laugh and shrug. Unsure of what to say to that. Part of him kind of wanted to try to dance but he knew better. Maybe if it was just his friends here he would take the chance and step onto the dance floor but with Lila here… He didn't want to make a fool of himself.

It was starting to get late. Rossi had taken Emily home and JJ and Will wanted to go home to Henry. Lila was still having fun with Garcia and didn't want to leave so Morgan agreed to take her home. Reid was both happy and nervous about this.

An hour or so after JJ and Will left, Morgan was able to coax the girls off of the dance floor and out of the bar. Finally it was time to go back home.

Lila and Garcia were holding onto each other behind him and Morgan as the foursome walked to Morgan's car. The girls were giggling and talking to each other.

"Oh my gosh, Dolly, this was such a fun night! I wish you lived closer!" That was definitely Garcia talking.

"I know, boo! You're my best friend and I love you! I wish we could hang out all the time!" Lila sounded like she was about to cry with the amount of emotions that were behind her words.

"I do too! When do you go back?"

"I have like another two days."

"We need to hang out again before you go!"

"Yes! Oh! You know what sounds really good right now that we should totally do when we hang out?"

"No, what!"

"Have you ever just gotten naked and burrito'd yourself in a super warm and fuzzy blanket?" Spencer almost tripped and fell when Lila spoke. Does she always casually mention getting naked like that? Did she want him to picture it because he was trying very hard not to. He knew his face was the color of a firetruck and he was so thankful for the concealment of the night. Morgan, on the other hand, found Lila's comment hilarious and started to laugh.

"No," Garcia said, "I've never tried that." She spoke like she had just heard the greatest revelation known to mankind. "But I should! I have a fuzzy purple blanket!"

"Yes! Oh!" Lila moaned as if waves of pleasure had just hit her, "it's the very best! We're so doing it!"

Spencer was getting very uncomfortable with this topic the girls were discussing and he didn't understand why Derek wasn't. Is this what normal people talk about? Undressing and swaddling up in a blanket? And people thought he was the weird one.

"Reid," Derek said, placing an arm around his shoulders, "you have got to remember this conversation they're having tomorrow."

"I don't think I could ever forget it, even without the eidetic memory," he muttered.

"Great, because I will bet you fifty bucks that neither of them remember it," Morgan said with a laugh.

Spencer was aware that drinking enough alcohol could make someone black out and not remember what they had done while drinking but this... This seemed like a conversation that would be worth remembering, even drunk.

"Doesn't he have a cute butt?" He heard Lila's comment and he almost didn't want to know who she was talking about.

"Derek?" Asked Garcia.

"Spencer," Lila said and this time Spencer did trip which caused Derek to howl with laughter. "I just want to bite it."

"What do you think about her biting your cute butt, Lover Boy?" Morgan asked playfully, still trying to contain his laughter.

Thankfully he didn't have to answer because they had just reached the car. He was never so happy to be inside a vehicle in his entire life. Now that he was sitting, Lila couldn't bite his rear end. Was that even something people did? He knew he was a novice when it came to sexual experiences, but that didn't seem like something couples regularly engaged in. Of course he could be wrong. The most action he'd ever gotta was making out with Lila Archer in her pool and that was years ago. Maybe things have changed since then.

Garcia and Lila were just as obnoxious on the ride back home. They started singing one of the songs he heard from the club and he really wished they wouldn't. Not only were they subpar with their singing skills, but every other word of the song was either something vulgar or sexual. He couldn't comprehend why people would willingly want to listen to this type of music. Not when options like Bach and Mozart were available.

Morgan didn't seem bothered by any of it, which Spencer found surprising. Is this what's is like when he goes out on dates? It couldn't be. That didn't seem fun, for her to get drunk while he stays sober and drives them everywhere. Maybe it's something you get used to over time? This is why he didn't want to go out in the first place. Social situations are just confusing. Life is a lot simpler at home, reading a good book...or twelve. Depending on how much time he has.

Garcia was the first to get dropped off. She hugged Lila for an obscenely long time and practically cried as she said good bye. He was concerned about her ability to make it all the way up to her apartment but Morgan insisted that Garcia was fine. Apparently she's made it up in a lot worse of a condition before. Something he found hard to believe.

Next to go was Lila. Part of him was happy because she had become very good at making him uncomfortable, but another part was going to miss her. He wasn't sure if he was going to get to see her again which made him really wish she was sober. He was actually thinking about giving her that kiss from their first meeting but he didn't want to do it while she was drunk. Maybe it was for the best. He probably would have chickened out anyways.

"Thank you, so much!" Lila said, leaning forward from the back seat to the front where he and Derek were. She put her arms around both of their shoulders. "You guys are the best, seriously." She gave each of them a kiss on top of their heads, making Spencer blush. Derek just chuckled. "Derek, you are such a beautiful, wonderful, bald, black man. Spencer, you're so adorable. I love ya. Don't ever change." Spencer wasn't sure what she meant by that but thought it was best not to over think it. She couldn't actually love him after knowing him for just over a day. It just must be a thing drunk people say.

After some struggle, Lila was able to get herself out of the car and make her way up to JJ and Will's apartment. He sighed as Morgan pulled away and got back on the road. In just a few minutes they would be at his apartment and he could finally relax. But he would miss her.

"Have a nice night out, Reid?" Morgan asked, a smile on his face. Spencer was convinced that Morgan hadn't stopped smiling since they left the bar. He would never understand what was so funny about the whole situation.

"It was interesting," Spencer said, trying to play it cool. He knew Morgan would see right through that.

"Aw, c'mon. You know you had fun. And it seems like Little Miss Lila has a thing for you."

"Doesn't really matter, does it? She'll go back to Seattle soon and who knows if I'll see her again," he said in a small voice.

"Hey, don't be like that. That didn't stop you from getting some action from the first Lila. And she's JJ's cousin. I'm sure it'll be easier to keep in contact with her than a movie star." Morgan did have a point there. He had a direct link to her all this time and he didn't even know it. But he also knew what his job was like. Constantly on the go, days away from home. Its hard enough to keep a relationship going when the person is in the same area as you, let alone the other side of the country. No, it wasn't worth it to try anything with her. He wished he could get another chance but he's made it this long being by himself, he was confident he could survive.

He had made peace with never seeing Lila again when Morgan pulled up in front of his building. "Here we are, Reid. I'll see you at work," he said. "Oh, and would you mind checking the back seat? I thought I heard something rattling around. I think one of the girls left something."

Spencer nodded and got out of the front seat to check the back. "Yeah, there's a pair of shoes back here." He inspected the black heels that he distinctly remembered Lila wearing. Great. "They're Lila's."

"Wanna take them? Gives you an excuse to go over there tomorrow and see her."

Morgan had a point. He would enjoy seeing her under sober circumstances. He grabbed the shoes and was just about to head out when he noticed something else. There was a scrap of red fabric on the floor as well. Did her dress tear while she was in here? He didn't notice any holes in the dress. He picked it up and noticed the holes that had to be for legs...oh. It wasn't a scrap of fabric from her dress at all...

"Everything alright, Reid?" Morgan reached around and turned on the light in the car so he could see better. When he looked back, he caught Spencer holding Lila's unmentionables and started laughing again. Spencer wasn't sure he'd ever heard Morgan laugh so much in one night before.

"How the hell did she manage to get that off in here without us knowing?" Morgan just shook his head. "Well, looks like you have something else to return to her."

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That's the second chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. If you have any questions/comments/concerns/suggestions/ect feel free to review and or PM me.

I also wanna take a moment to address and PM I got a few days ago asking if I take requests. It's not really my thing but if you give me something good and detailed I might be able to work with it. Anyways, that's not the point. This person wanted a story involving a sexual relationship between adult JJ and a 15 year old male. I obviously said no. That is not appropriate. Since this person didn't seem to understand why that's not appropriate I figure there are probably others reading this story that might not understand either. So here we are. Someone underage cannot give consent to sexual things. They just can't. Especially involving a grown ass woman. I know in the state I live there's like a 2 year rule for like minors hooking up with each other but that's not the issue at hand. A women in her 30s going after someone more than half her age is statutory rape which is very very bad. Obviously there are people like that out there but I seriously doubt JJ would be one of them. Especially since she works for the FBI.

Okay, that's my PSA for the day.


	3. Hangover

Here is chapter 3! I'm gonna try to keep to updating on Mondays. Maybe some occasional update in between. We'll have to see how that goes and how much time I have. Thank you to everyone who has supported this story. It means a lot to me.

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I awoke feeling miserable on the couch the next morning. My dress was half down but someone had put a blanket over me to keep me covered. Bless them. With a groan, I rolled over and instantly regretted doing that. Trying to hold the blanket in place, I raced to the bathroom. By the time I was close I didn't give two shits about being modest as I dove to the toilet just in time. I will never understand why I always need to drink so much when I just feel like death the next day. So not worth it.

I think a couple hours later JJ got up with Henry. I was curled up in the bathroom. She got me something to change into and offered to make me breakfast. I declined the food but gladly took the clothes. She made a couple remarks about me staying out too late and drinking too much but overall she took care of me in my time of hangover need. She brought me a lot of water and dry toast which I nibbled on. She even kept Henry away from me. I would have loved to have been able to play with him but I just couldn't at the time.

As lunch time approached, I slowly started to feel better. I was able to go more than a few minutes without puking and moved from the bathroom to the couch. My stomach started to growl more and I ate the rest of the toast she gave me. As I was starting to fall back asleep I heard someone knock on their door. I didn't appreciate the noise waking me up.

"Hey, Spence," JJ said as I heard her open the door. "What brings you by?"

"Oh, uh, is Lila here? She left some things in Morgan's car..." Shit, what did I forget? I really don't remember much after we left the bar. I know I hugged Penelope a lot and sang some rap song, but everything else is a blank.

"Yeah, she's on the couch." JJ closed the door as I assumed Spencer walked into the apartment.

I peeked up as I saw him approach me. "Hey, you, uh, you don't look well." I probably look as great as I feel.

"Believe it or not I've been worse," I said and managed to pull myself up. My stomach gave a twinge so I took another gulp of water. "What all did I leave behind?"

Without sitting down, he simply handed me a plastic bag that he was carrying. I looked in and saw my shoes. That's not surprising. I tend to take those off a lot, whether I'm drunk or sober. Underneath the shoes I noticed my red thong... Oh boy. That's embarrassing. I didn't even notice I wasn't still wearing it.

He must have seen the red in my face because he commented, "Morgan was surprised you got that off." His cheeks turned red as well.

"Yeah...I tend to take my bra and undies off when I'm drunk. Its makes the hangover in the morning a bit more manageable." I quickly closed the bag so I wouldn't have to stare at my shame again.

"And that's why when I got up this morning with Henry, your bra was hanging from the couch," JJ said teasingly.

"Well no one wants to sleep with a bra on, especially strapless. And thongs are just uncomfortable," I said, trying to defend myself.

"Uh huh, sure," she said with a smile. "Spence, we were just about ready to have lunch. Did you want to join us?"

"Oh, uh, I don't know-"

"Please, I insist. Henry would love it," JJ said, touching his arm. Spencer thought for a moment then nodded his head. I couldn't help but feel happy about this too.

"Great. I'll set an extra place." JJ smiled then went to the kitchen, picking up Henry in the process. That left Spencer and me all alone.

"So," he said, trying to make conversation, "I assume you don't feel well."

"You would assume right," I said, smiling up at him. I gestured for him to sit down next to me and after a moment of hesitation he did. "I woke up around when the sun was rising, ran to the bathroom and spent the next couple of hours sleeping there. Well kinda. I heard Will get up and leave for work and then later JJ and Henry got up as well. Just before you came I moved to the couch where I still feel like shit."

"Statistically a person will have a hangover for-"

"Spencer, I really don't want to hear that. I'm sure it feels a lot longer than it actually is."

An awkward silence fell between us. Neither of us seemed to know what to say. Finally I tried to make conversation. "I hope I didn't embarrass myself too much last night."

He chuckled slightly. "Well you said somethings that I don't think I would ever say. But it doesn't compare to stuff I've heard and seen on the job."

"That's... good," I said, unsure of what to say. Thankfully JJ then said it was lunch time and the two of us went into the kitchen.

It wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. JJ did a lot of the talking and of course Henry was the center of attention for most of the time. He's just too darn cute. I love that little man. After we ate, Spencer insisted on doing the dishes as a thank you for lunch. JJ tried to refuse the offer, but Henry started to get fussy. He needed his diaper changed and a nap so JJ reluctantly let Spencer have his way. I decided to make myself useful and dry. The lunch really helped my stomach. I still felt a bit sick but nowhere near as bad as I was.

"Thanks again for bringing me my things," I said to Spencer. We were about halfway done with the dishes and had done most of them in silence. He seemed the most comfortable that way. "I appreciate it."

"No problem," he said. After a beat of silence he added, "I was kinda glad you left somethings."

"Really? Why?"

It almost looked like he regretted saying what he did. I could see the turmoil on his face as he tried to compose himself. His cheeks were all kinds of pink. "It gave me a chance to see you again," he whispered, almost inaudibly. He casts a sideways glance at me, trying to gauge my reaction.

"Oh?" I didn't think that would be the reason. I was almost positive he found me annoying and too wild. But he was actually happy he got to see me again.

"Yeah," he said again at the same decibel.

"I'm glad I got to see you again too. Honestly, if I hadn't of been sick all morning I'd be going for that kiss you owe me." He dropped the spoon he was washing and I laughed. "Would you not like that?"

"What? No! I would! I mean, only if you consented to it, of course. I just- I don't-" His face was so flushed as he stammered and it was adorable.

"It's ok, I get what you're saying." I smiled up at him.

We finished doing the dishes in silence, which was fine by me. The talking was making feel a bit icky still so for me silence was golden. I kept stealing glances at Spencer and I knew he was doing the same. We locked eyes several times which made him blush and me smile.

"Henry finally went down for his nap," JJ announced as she walked into the kitchen. "I came in to help but it looks like you guys got most of it done. Thanks. I really appreciate that."

"Hey, you've been putting up with me living here for a few days. I want to help however I can," I said as I dried my hands. "And raising a one-year-old can't be easy."

"Oh, it's not. Just wait till you have one," she said, smiling at me.

"That's not gonna be for a while," I said. I love kids and I love little Henry but I am not ready to be a mother.

"Anyways, thanks again," she said.

"I should probably be going. Thank you for lunch, JJ." Spencer went to the living room to grab his things and probably to make sure I still had mine. "I'll see you tomorrow in the office. Bye, Lila." He waved at me and left.

"If you don't mind," I said, "I might pull a Henry and take a nap too."

JJ shook her head. "No, go for it. You can use my bed. I'll finally have some peace and quiet."

xoxo

I slept so hard and so powerful, I woke up feeling like a new woman. I only felt slightly sick to my stomach. No worse than the first couple days of my period. Not pleasant by any means but manageable.

"Hey, there she is." JJ was seated on the couch. Garcia was next to her with Henry on her lap. He was content playing with a book.

"Hey! Penny! I didn't know you were coming over." I smiled and walked over to the pair, taking up the last available space on the couch.

"Hey, Dolly. How ya feeling?" Penelope asked softly, probably not wanting to raise her voice just to be cautious.

"A lot better after the nap. I think I slept most of it off. What about you?"

"I threw up a couple times last night, slept for twelve hours, and feel kinda like a living slug. I was gonna veg out on my big comfy couch all day but JJ texted saying Will was working late and I should come over for a low key girls night. How could I say no to that when you're leaving me soon?" I leaned over and gave her a hug. "You're one of my best friends."

"Oh! I love you so much, Penelope! Thank you for coming out even if you feel like a living slug." If I was still drunk I would probably be crying right now. Drunk Lila tends to feel all the emotions and feel them very extremely.

"I was gonna order a pizza in about an hour or so, how does that sound?" JJ asked. I glanced at the clock hanging on the wall. It was just past five o'clock.

"Yeah, I'm down for that. Sorry I slept so much."

"Don't worry about it. I've been terribly hungover before," JJ laughed.

"As have I. Much like I am right now," Penelope chimed in. "But for some reason pizza does sound really good. I didn't realize I was this hungry."

The three of us played with Henry for a while and watched some of Henry's favorite shows. They were a bit obnoxious since they are aimed at young children, but it was worth it to see how happy they made him. We ordered two large cheese pizza's which was prefect for us. Henry enjoyed the pizza as well. Around eight JJ started to get Henry ready for bed and by nine he was asleep. That left the rest of the night for us. JJ, Penny, and I were relaxing in the living room. JJ had a glass of wine which Penny and I passed on. We had enough drinking the night before.

"I'm so sad you're going home soon," Penelope said.

"I know! It sucks that I live so far away. I'd love to be able to stay here longer. I feel like I'm just starting to get to know the rest of your team. They're all really nice. I like them."

"Especially a certain tall, lanky, genius?" Penelope gave a cheeky grin and wiggled her eyebrows at me.

"Maybe just a little bit," I said while laughing. There's no point in hiding that I found him attractive.

"I knew it! You two would make such a cute couple!" Penelope practically jumped up and down as she spoke. Her eyes were lighting up the whole room.

"I agree, Penny. But I live across the country. That doesn't really foster a good foundation for a new relationship. Maybe if I lived around here I would be totally for it."

"'Maybe'?" Penelope questioned.

I sighed. JJ knew the story already and part of me didn't want to tell it again. But I love gossiping with my friends so might as well. "Literally like two weeks before I came out here, fucking Ben dumped me. So I'm pretty newly single and ready to mingle. Not so much single and ready to start something else."

"What a jerk! He's the one you were dating the last time you were out here right? The like on-again-off-again one with the big muscles?" Penelope's description was pretty spot on. Ben and I had been dating on and off for several years and you would think we'd either make it work or we wouldn't. But apparently we're still in limbo. And he is extremely fit.

"Yeah, exactly. We made it to six months this time. Then he got promoted and said with his new responsibilities he wouldn't have time for a relationship. But apparently he still has time to text asking for a booty call. You know what, if that's what he wants then just fucking say it. Don't do this 'oh I don't have time now but maybe in the future' bull shit. Just say you don't wanna date me but still wanna have the occasional fuck. I'm a lot more open to that."

"I've always told you, you can do so much better than him," JJ said with a sigh and sipped her wine.

"I have to agree with JJ on this. How long have potential relationships with him been going on for?" Penelope asked.

"Ugh," I had to take a moment to think. "It started when I did my internship at the police department back when I was twenty. So like, four-ish years almost five years?"

"Have you dated anyone else during that time?" Penny questioned.

"Yeah, a bit. Nothing too serious. Ben has been all the like, long ones. Either way, after that I don't want to jump into a relationship right now, no matter how cute Spencer is. Now, if he was like 'Hey, Lila, can I have your number?' I would totally give him my number. Of if he was like 'Hey, Lila, let's go back to my apartment and fuck all night,' I would totally fuck Spencer all night."

JJ and Penelope started laughing hysterically at what I last said. I had a feeling I would get that reaction from them. Spencer did not seem like the type of person to just hook up with someone he barely knew. He didn't seem like the type of person who would hook up period.

"Oh, sweetie," Penelope said, still laughing. "I would die if Reid asked you that. Literally die."

"Me too. I don't think he's gone past kissing," JJ added.

"Figured. But you never know. I'd be down for some love making if he was." I started to laugh too. From what I've gathered, Spencer is an insanely sweet person but just terribly awkward when it comes to females and relationships. Which is fine with me. If he wanted to purse a relationship with me I would be open to it.

"But seriously," Penny said, "Reid is super sweet and precious and he wouldn't treat you anything like Ben did. He'd treat you like the goddamn queen you are."

"I agree, Reid would be a lot better than Ben." JJ had to throw in her two cents into the matter. Not that I don't appreciate it, but she's always been more negative towards Ben. Which maybe something I need to hear but it annoys me.

"I know. Like I said, maybe if I lived out here."

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There you have it! Another chapter done! Feel free to review if you liked it, didn't, or have any questions/comments/concerns/ideas.


	4. At The Office

I'm a little early but oh well! Here's the latest chapter! Hugs and kisses to you all!

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For my last day here, JJ was able to get me a visitor's pass to get into the BAU building. I was very excited to see where JJ worked and what the building was like. I made sure to dress professionally with a pastel pink button down and some kakis. It wasn't much different than when I got to work in Seattle. After JJ gave her approval of my outfit and Henry was with the sitter, we made our way to the BAU office.

I had to go through a few more security measures to gain entrance, even with the visitors pass, but it was worth it. The building was bigger than I imagined and I was completely in awe of it. It is definitely a place I would love to work one day.

Rossi and Hotch were already in their offices, doing their respected paper work. There was no active case going on so today was just a filing and formality day. Fine with me.

"When will the others get here?" I glanced at the clock, noting that it was already half past eight. It seems like more people should be here by then besides us, Rossi, and Hotch.

"Reid, Morgan, and Emily will probably get here soon. Garcia usually comes in closer to nine. As long as everyone makes it here by ten there's really no issues when we're just doing paper work." JJ unlocked the door to her office as she spoke. I looked around. It was nice. There were a lot of files around. JJ had also decorated her desk with pictures of her family. Mostly of Henry. There was a group photo from a couple years ago that I was in.

"Hey! I made it to your desk." I picked up the framed picture and smiled. Even though it was only two years ago, I feel like I've grown and changed so much since then.

She smiled. "You did. I really love that picture. We should take family pictures more often."

"I do too. It's almost like we're a happy family," I joked which got a smile out of her. "But I agree. We need more family gatherings."

A few minutes later, Emily came in. She went straight to Hotch's office. I was going to keep watching to see when she would come out but I didn't want to be that weird so I sat down.

Within ten minutes of Emily coming in, Morgan sauntered in. "Hey, Little Miss Lila, fancy seeing you here." He was leaning on the door frame and flashed his dashing smile. I couldn't help but smile as well.

"I'm infiltrating the BAU," I quipped with a laugh.

"Well this is the best infiltration we've had. Reid will be here in a few minutes. I saw him walking up as I entered. Just thought you would want to know." He winked at me as he walked off, presumably to his own space to do paper work.

"Ha ha, very funny," I said even thought I knew he couldn't hear me.

Just as Morgan said, a few minutes later I saw Spencer walk into the building and take off his coat. I watched him, feeling slightly creepy, from JJ's office. "You can go say 'hello'. I'll be fine here." I glanced over at JJ and she smiled at me.

With a sigh, just to be annoying, I left her office and went down to see Spencer. "Hey, Spence," I said cheerfully as I approached him. He looked up at me and his eyes lit up. I smiled.

"Lila, I wasn't expecting to see you here." He sounded more confident talking to me than he has in the past. I took that as a good sign. He sat down at his desk but kept his eyes on me.

"JJ got me a visitor's pass to come to work with her today. She thought I'd like to see the place so obviously I said yes." I leaned against his desk, taking it all in. "You have a lot of books here."

"I do a lot of reading," he said matter-of-factually. That was pretty obvious. He has multiple Phd's from what JJ has told me. You have to be well read to achieve all that.

"I can see that, Doctor." I smiled at him and he smiled back.

"Lila!" I looked up to see Penelope running towards me. "JJ said you would be coming to work today and here you are!" She hugged me and I noticed Spencer watching curiously. "You have to come up and see my lair. It's the best place here. Sorry, Lover Boy, you can have her back later." I saw a bit of color cross his face at Penelope's comment but he didn't say anything. He just gave a little wave as Penelope dragged me off.

She wasn't lying when she said that her, as she called it, lair was the best. There were at least four or five computers around the walls which was more than I'd ever seen designated for one person. But what really made it great was how she decorated. There were pinks, and purples, and all types of little knickknacks scattered around her desk. The lair just reeked of her personality. "I love it, Penny," I said as she made herself comfortable in her big chair.

"Thank you, Dolly! I knew you would like it! Pop a squat. Hang with me for a bit. Then you can go back to being all flirty with Boy Genius." I laughed as I sat down next to her.

"I literally only had the chance to say hi to him before you came and dragged me away."

"Sorry," she said and it sounded like she only half meant it. "I just wanted you to come up and hang with me. And Reid is always the first person done with his stuff. You can go get your flirt on when he's done."

I laughed. "It's fine, Penny. I don't care. I love hanging with you."

The two of us sat around and talked while she was on her computer doing…something. I'm not sure what it was even though she had explained it to me more than once. It went right over my head. While we were talking, I got a text from Ben. "Hey, Penny, Ben just texted me. Listen to this. 'Hey, hon,' don't fucking call me that, we broke up. Anyways, 'hey, hon, when are you coming back to Seattle? Miss you.' What do you make of that?"

"I'm not sure. I need more. What are you gonna say?"

"'I come back tomorrow afternoon and I come back to work the next day' Send. Now we wait." I was suspicious as to why Ben was texting me and being all sweet about it. I didn't trust him. I feel like this is a ploy to try to sleep with me again but I'm not sure.

"What do you think he wants?" She asked me, turning her back on her computer.

"I don't know. Oh! He responded. 'Ok cool. We should hang when you get back. Maybe a movie or coffee or whatever you want.' What? We broke up. This is weird. 'I thought you didn't have time for me anymore.' Send."

"He sounds weird," Penny said and I agreed with her. "I don't trust him at all."

"Oh! Here's his response. 'I said I didn't have time to date. I can still hang out and chill.' Okay, that sounds suspicious as fuck. What do you think he means by that? Is he trying to get back together with me? Sleep with me?"

"I'm not totally sure, boys are always such a mystery, but I think I know someone who will." She snatched my phone from my hand and walked straight out of her lair without waiting to see if I was coming too. Obviously I got up and was right on her heels as she marched on. Morgan and Spencer were talking over by Spencer's desk. I couldn't hear what they were saying but they stopped when they saw us approaching.

"My lovely Derek Morgan," Penelope said as we got closer. "You are a male."

"Indeed I am," he said, sounding very confused.

"Good. As a male, we need your help." Penelope stopped just in front of them, still holding my cell phone.

"You know, I'm a male too," Spencer said, looking between the three of us.

"Yes, you are, my Boy Wonder, but I think Morgan is gonna have a better insight on this issue. Lila's ex has been texting her and we wanna know what his motives are." She handed him my cell phone. He looked at me and I nodded my approval before he took it from Penelope. "Decode the cryptic male language, my love."

"Back story," I said so he would know everything. "Ben, my ex, broke up with me a couple weeks before I came out here because he says he doesn't have time for a relationship anymore. Then he was asking me to fuck him. I turned him down. Now he's texting like he wants to get back together."

Morgan looked over the conversation I was having with Ben and chuckled softly to himself. "Did you flat out turn down his advances for sex?" I nodded. "He's just trying a new approach. He's trying to lead you to think that he wants to still hang out and what not but he's still trying to get you in bed. I guarantee if you met up with him, he'd put the moves on you."

"What a loser," I said as I took my phone back. Part of me knew that had to be the case but part of me didn't want to believe it. "I should have figured that, but whatever."

"How old is this guy?" Morgan asked.

"He's almost twenty-eight."

Derek gave a small laugh. "He's in his late twenties and he's still pulling this bull shit? Lila, you can do so much better than this fool. Don't waste your time with immature men. You deserve someone who will treat you like a queen."

I smiled. "Thanks, Derek."

"Can I see the texts?" Spencer asked a bit timidly.

"Knock yourself out," I said and gave him my phone as well. Can't hurt to have another opinion on the matter. Sure, he's not the most competent when it comes to relationships but he is a genius. Maybe his book smarts will come in handy for this.

I watched as Spencer's eyes raced across my phone screen. A lot faster than Derek's did. I didn't think much of it until I saw him start to scroll through more than just the current messages. It didn't dawn on me how fast he was reading and how far back he was going until it was too late. "Oh!" He quickly dropped his eyes and handed me back my phone, his cheeks red again. So were mine.

"What? What happened?" Penelope looked between Spencer and me, obviously curious. Derek was eyeing us as well.

"Spencer went back a little too far," I said, glancing at my phone to double check. "Yep, he saw some pictures he should not have."

"Oh," Penelope said and I could tell she was feeling the second hand embarrassment.

Morgan just chuckled. "Smooth move, Reid." He playfully elbowed him.

"I'm so sorry, Lila. I didn't mean-" He started to apologize but I cut him off by holding up my hand.

"Please don't worry about it. I should have said something before just handing over my phone and letting you scroll through my texts with my ex. I just didn't think you would go through them that fast."

"I can read 20,000 words a minute," he said sheepishly.

"That explains it," I said, putting my phone in my pocket. "But honestly, don't worry about it." I smiled kindly at him.

"Reid, Morgan, Garcia, Lila." We all turned our attention to Rossi who was talking over to our little group. "I found a new recipe online and I need someone to try it out on. Dinner at my house tonight at eight."

"We'll be there, sir," Penelope said and practically dragged me away with her. "What did Reid see?" She whispered to me as we walked away.

"My tits," I squeaked back. She started to laugh. "Penny, it's not funny," I said but couldn't help but laugh too.

"Think he liked what he saw?" she asked as we entered her space again.

"I mean, obviously. I have nice tits." This made us both laugh.

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There you have it! Next chapter will be up either Sunday or Monday depending. Hope you enjoyed it!


	5. Rossi's Dinner Party

Hello hello my beautiful people! Its Monday again (at least in my time zone) so update time! So many people have added this story this past week and I'm so honored by it! Thank you so much! Also, I wanna give you a heads up. There will more than likely not be an update next Monday. I'm going away for the weekend and getting ready for that is gonna be my priority. Regular updates will resume the following Monday. I'll make the announcement at the end of the chapter just in case someone missed it. Anyways, enjoy!

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I let JJ know about Rossi's invite to his house for dinner. She told me that that's a thing Rossi will do. He'll cook dinner for everyone and they'll have a sort of family dinner. I smiled. That sounded really nice and I was so happy that Rossi included me in this. It truly meant the world to me. I couldn't ask for a better group to be dining with. And of course, I really liked that Spencer was there. I was hoping I'd be able to give him that kiss.

I arrived with JJ. Will decided to stay home with Henry since he had to work long hours the past few days. He missed his son. JJ said I didn't have to dress up any for this dinner, but I wanted to look my best. This would be my last time seeing Spencer for quite a while and I wanted to go out looking hot. If I recalled correctly, he kept making eyes on me when I wore my red dress out drinking. I'm sure he'd be pleased to see me in another dress. This one wasn't as revealing. It had straps and went down to my knees, but it was backless and with a deep V. I also chose a more normal floral pattern instead of the bright red. I also made sure my thong and shoes where in place and not laying around.

We were the last to arrive. Derek and Penelope had just arrived before us and were in the process of hanging up their coats when we walked into the house. "Yay! My love! You made it!" Penelope shoved her coat at Derek so she could rush over and give me a hug. I graciously reciprocated.

"Penny, I told you at the office earlier that I was gonna come. Besides, I wasn't going to leave without saying goodbye to everyone!" I said, laughing a bit as her hug tightened. "I'm just so happy that you all like me so much."

"Of course we like you, Li. No one else has ever managed to make Reid get all flustered like you do. That alone is good enough to make you part of our family." Derek walked over and put his arm around Penelope who had finally let me go from her death grip hug.

"Uh, thanks?" Derek laughed at my unsure response. "Where is everyone else? We saw all the other cars outside."

"They're all in the dinning room. Rossi has drinks in the kitchen. Let's grab some while I inform you, and you," he gave Penelope a squeeze, "about all the things you talked about while totally trashed. I figured telling you at the BAU wouldn't be appropriate, but you definitely need to know.

No one really told me what all had happened towards the end of the night when I went out with everyone. Spencer was very vague about it when he dropped my stuff off. Just the thought of it seemed to make him terribly uncomfortable. I'm not sure if I want to know everything that was said.

Derek talked to me and Penelope as we walked to the kitchen. I was half listening and half being in awe of how big Rossi's house was. He lives in a bonafide mansion! "Then you said you wanted to bite Reid's ass," Derek said as he poured himself a glass of wine. "I thought the kid was gonna have a heart attack."

"Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed." I sank into one of the stools placed around the drinks. "No wonder he was all red in the face when he gave me back my things."

"About that," Derek said, pouring another glass of wine and passing it to JJ, "how the hell did you manage to get a thong off without anyone noticing?"

"Years of practice," I said, still feeling the heat of humiliation coming off of me but I was determined not to let it show too much.

"I bet," Derek said laughing.

Feeling probably just as embarrassed as I felt, Penny grabbed my arm and starting heading to the dinning room to join everyone else. "I don't remember half of what Morgan was talking about," she whispered to me. I laughed my agreement.

"There they are!" Rossi said joviality as we entered the dining room where everyone was. "Welcome! And a special welcome to you, Miss Lila O'Haul. Welcome to my humble home."

"Oh, I'd say it's anything but humble," I said laughing as he kissed me on both cheeks. "You have a very nice house, sir."

He showed me to where the food was as well as where the others were sitting. Spencer, Emily, and Hotch seemed to be engaged in a very deep conversation. I almost felt bad going over and disturbing them. Almost. Penny and I had a plate of food and we made our way over to the table. The three of them looked up and smiled as we approached.

"Hey guys," Emily said smiling. "We were wondering when you would get here. Where's Morgan, JJ, and Will?"

"Will stayed home with Henry. JJ and Morgan are getting drinks," I said sitting down. "Derek was informing us of everything that happened when we went out. After a couple stories Penny and I were ready to duck out but it looks like JJ is enjoying hearing Derek share in our drunken tales."

"Did that much happen after I left?" Emily asked, smiling like she already knew the answer.

"So much," Spencer chipped in, making me blush. I had almost forgotten that he was the one to bring my thong back home to me. I'm such trash.

Emily nearly choked on her drink with laughter at Spencer's deadpan comment. "Really? I'm gonna have to go over and hear what Morgan has to say."

"Or you could not," I said with a roll of my eyes.

"Emily, sweetie, it's just like when we go out. Only this time it was Lila," Penny said. "Usual drunken shenanigans."

"Sounds like it was a fun time out. I guess I missed a lot," Hotch said as he looked between Penny and myself with slight amusement.

Derek and JJ emerged with glasses of wine. Once they had their food and sat down the conversations started to change. JJ talked about how big Henry was getting, Hotch chimed in about Jack. Emily shared some stories about traveling all over the world. Rossi told stories about his first few years as a profiler, all the while Derek and Penelope flirted and Spence prattled off facts and stats. I loved listening to what each and every person had to say. It hurt my heart knowing I would be leaving soon and made me regret not meeting all of them the first time I was out this way. Time and circumstances just kept me away from them.

After dinner, Rossi went and grabbed desserts. He made homemade tiramisu and it was just as good as I expected. If not better. I probably could have eaten the whole patter of it if no one else was around. My sweet tooth knows no bounds. After my second piece I decided that I needed another glass of wine. So I excused myself to go back into the kitchen to get said glass.

Once there, I uncorked the wine and slowly poured some into my glass. "Might want to limit the amount of wine you drink." I looked over and saw Spencer coming towards me. I didn't even realize he left the group to come inside.

"This is only my second glass," I said, taking a sip of my now filled glass. "It takes a lot more than two glasses over the course of dinner to get me drunk. What brings you over here? I didn't even know you left."

"Bathroom," he said, fidgeting with his fingers slightly. "I guess I can be stealthy when I want to be." He smiled.

"I'll say." I grinned. "Listen, Spencer, I'm really sorry about anything I did or said the other night. I never wanted to make your feel uncomfortable. And I'm also sorry about the whole cell phone incident."

"It's alright. Just... not what I was used to." He took a small step towards me and I took that as a good sign. "And that was my fault for going through all of your messages."

"Derek told me how I said I wanted to bite your ass. God, I'm an embarrassment."

His cheeks flushed in the most adorable way. "Definitely did not expect to hear that." He paused for a second, almost unsure if he should continue talking. "Is that... is that something that normally happens?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Ass biting? I mean if that's what you're into sure. But I'm not about to bend down and bite it. Unless of course you want me to." I gave a wink which I knew would make him blush like mad and I was right. His face turned a shade darker and I could feel the regret coming off of him. "I'm joking, Spencer." I said, walking over and placing my hand on his arm. "I won't do anything to you that you don't like."

"Oh, well, that's good. Thanks." He was relaxing a bit. His face returned to its normal peachy shade.

"Would you like a kiss?" I asked, looking up into his eyes. They grew wide and his face was red once more.

"Uh, yeah." He nodded as he spoke, like he wanted a backup just in case his voice didn't work. I smiled as I moved a bit closer. The hand that was on his arm moved its way up to his face, cupping it gently. While standing on my tip toes, I placed a soft kiss to his lips. He remained frozen for a minute before the tension started to leave his body and he relaxed. I felt him push forward a bit, like he was trying to kiss me back but was struggling a bit. I smiled as I pulled away and looked him in the eyes again. "Uh, another one?" he asked softly and how could I say no to a request like that?

I went back up on my tip toes and kissed him again. This time he wasn't tense at all. It almost felt like he was enjoying it. I could feel him left his arms and hesitate for a moment, like he wasn't sure what to do with them. He settled on placing them on my sides, like he was holding me in place. I inwardly smiled as his lips parted slightly into a more natural kissing state.

I slowly pulled away and smiled up at him. "Did that live up to your expectations?"

"It did," Spencer said, blushing.

"Same," I said, feeling some color enter my cheeks as well. I grabbed my wine glass, still smiling. "Let's go back and join the others." I turned and walked back to the dining room, assuming Spencer was following me. He was.

"Hey, there," Penelope said, grinning like a fool when we entered. "Nice of you two to join us again."

"Were you spying?" I sighed, a bit annoyed. I could tell by the look on her face she definitely was spying on us.

"Not my fault. My lover," she gestured to Morgan, "and myself wanted more wine and the kitchen was occupied."

"That's embarrassing," I said, taking my seat. Spencer took his seat across from my, his face bright red.

Thankfully there wasn't that much teasing. I appreciated that and I know Spence did too. The rest of the evening went pretty well. The conversations were light and fun. My heart was heavy thinking about how this was the last time I would be able to hang with these people. They're so fun. I almost don't want to go home.

It was getting late and we all needed to head out. As a group, we all headed to the entrance way to say our goodbyes. Hotch was the first and gave me a very firm handshake. I wasn't surprised. He doesn't seem like much of a hugger. Rossi gave me a hug and kiss on each cheek, much like he did earlier. "You always have a place here," Rossi said as he let me go making me smile appreciatively.

Emily was next and gave me a big hug. Followed by Morgan. "We'll miss you Little Miss Lila. And remember what I said about your ex. You deserve better. Like Pretty Boy over there." He smiled his cheeky smile which I returned.

"Thanks, Derek. I'll keep that in mind," I said as Penelope practically dived on me.

"I'll miss you, Blondie! Text me all the time! Send pics! I wanna always be up-to-date on your life. You got it?" Penelope's hug squeezed me so tight in the best way possible.

"I will, Penny. I will," I laughed as I returned her enormous hug. "Promise."

"Good," she said, holding me at arm's length. "Now go say goodbye to your man over there."

I rolled my eyes at her and made my way to the only one I hadn't said goodbye to: Spencer Reid. "Hey," I said softly as I stood in front of him. The others were obviously watching but trying (and failing) about being inconspicuous about it. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too," he said softly, keeping eye contact with me. "You're pretty amazing."

I smiled and laughed softly. "You're pretty amazing yourself, Spence." With ease, I took his hands in mine. "Don't mind touching hands now?"

He smiled. "No, I'm not too worried about getting germs from you."

I took half a step closer to him. He kept his eye contact with me. He was getting a lot better at that. Slowly, I moved my hands from his and to the back of his neck. I noticed him swallow nervously and I tried not to smile. He's so cute.

"Is this okay?" I whispered. He nodded his response. I let my eyes flicker close as I stood up on my tip toes to kiss him again. He didn't hesitate in returning my kiss. His arms moved slowly to the small of my back, holding me in place. I could hear Penelope "Aw" in the background, but I ignored it. All my focus was on Spencer and our moment together.

After a bit, JJ cleared her throat. "We do need to get going. Will's waiting for us."

I pulled away from Spencer slowly, savoring every moment. "Don't be afraid to ask JJ for my number," I said whispered to him. I gave him another quick kiss. "Bye, Spencer."

"Bye, Lila." I glanced back at him as JJ and I headed out the door and to our car. This is definitely a trip I won't soon forget.

* * *

Ah! Got some Spencer/Lila action in this chapter! Hope you liked it! As I mentioned in the beginning of the chapter, there will NOT be an update next Monday. I will be away. Updates will resume the following Monday.


	6. A New Case

Hey guys! Hope waiting an extra week wasn't too bad! I got so much love and support for this story during that time! Thank you all so much! I really appreciate it!

I just wanna give you guys a warning that I am going to mess with the timeline a bit. I wanna add more time between when Lila left and when she comes back and decrease the time between season 6 and 8. There's method to my madness, I just can't tell you want it is. But enjoy the next chapter!

* * *

"Seattle Police Department, Candy Ramos, Victims Advocate Representative." I heard Candy answer the phone and didn't think twice about it. People call here every day asking this question or that. I was busy going over one of the new cases we got. I needed to make a statement about it sooner than later. It was only a matter of time before the press got ahold of it and that would be a bigger mess to clean up. If we were the ones to release statements we had more control over the matter.

"It's for you," Candy said, pulling me from the papers. "It's David Rossi?" She almost didn't believe the words she was saying. Why would the David Rossi call me? Actually, why did he call me? It had been almost two years since I last saw anyone from the BAU. it was hard keeping in contact with everyone, even JJ. Not that I was upset about that. I understand what kind of job they all have and how taxing it is. I have a lot going on here at the police department. Life can sometimes get in the way.

Penelope would text and call me a lot more than anyone else, though those texts could be few and far between. We wouldn't talk on the phone that much but when we did the conversations would last for several hours. Spencer never reached out to me. I was a little bummed about it at first but as I had expressed to my friends before, I just wasn't in the mindset to enter another relationship at the time. As much as I wanted to talk to him, things seemed to work themselves out with his silence.

"Seattle Police Department, Lila O'Haul, Press Liaison speaking," I said, reciting the lines I know by heart.

"Hello, Miss Lila O'Haul. This is David Rossi from the BAU. How have you been?" He sounded so pleasant. I smiled.

"I've been very well, sir. How have you been?" I asked.

"I've been doing alright. I'm not sure if you've talked to JJ recently, but she took a new job."

"Yeah, she was texting me about it the other night. She didn't really want to do it." Candy was keeping her eyes on me. Probably very intrigued that I was having a normal conversation with David Rossi. We've both read and adored his books.

"That is correct, unfortunately someone from higher up made her take the position. Anyways, that opens up a spot here at the BAU. Her old job is up for grabs. Penelope tried to do it but it's a bit too much for her, especially alone. Would you be interested in taking it? Since you already deal with victims and the press with your current job, I figure it won't be too much of a change." Was I getting a job offer to go and work for the BAU? This has to be a dream.

"Are you serious? You want me to take her place? There's no one else more qualified?" Candy's eyes widened in shock as I spoke.

"Don't doubt your skills, Lila. I've been following your work and it's spectacular. It's also about who fits in with our team dynamic. And you, Lila, you fit in very well. So, what do you say? Would you like the job?"

I didn't even have to think twice. "Yes."

xoxo

Rossi had planned a surprise entrance for me. He wasn't telling any of them who the new replacement for JJ was. Because of this, I had to get there early to make sure I didn't run into anyone but him.

"There are you!" he said as I stepped out of the elevator. He engulfed me in a huge, father like hug, which I eagerly returned. "I'm so happy you're here!"

"I am too," I said with a smile as I pulled away.

"There's some paper work up in my office that you need to fill out, but once you do that it'll be official."

"I'll be Lila O'Haul Media Liaison of the BAU." I couldn't get the smile off my face as I talked. I never in a million years dreamed I'd get that title, yet here I was. I'm at the FBI headquarters, filling out paper work in David Rossi's office with my very own FBI BAU ID card attached to my hip.

Filling out the paper work was taking longer than I thought it would. I understand why Rossi insisted I come to work this early. He had shut the door to give me privacy and quiet as I read over some of the papers. I was so lost making sure I was doing everything correctly, I didn't even notice how much time had passed. Soon I could hear more familiar voices outside the office door. I was tempted to get up and peak out, see who all was here, but I resisted. As much as I wanted to see them I needed to make sure all forms were properly filled out. The last thing I needed to hear was that I wasn't getting the position because I didn't dot my I's or cross my T's.

There was a soft knock at the door before Rossi opened it and stuck his head in. "Hey, we're going to the bullpen to go over a new case. Meet us there in five." I smiled and nodded but I'm not sure if he saw. He closed the door quickly and I could hear retreating footsteps. I quickly finished up signing the paper I was on, verifying who to notify should I be killed. After I had finished and tried to push the mental image of me being killed out of my mind, I got up and walked out of the office. Thankfully I remembered where the bullpen was from my last visit over here.

"I think you'll like person I got for the job," I heard him say. "She can't replace JJ but I think she's a close second." That made me smile.

I could hear Garcia scream before I even opened the door. "LILA!" She was the first person to hug me as I entered, probably noticing me from the window. "I'm so happy it's you!" She gave me a kiss on the cheek, leaving some of her lipstick stuck to me. She made a face and tried to wipe my cheek with her finger but I doubt it made a difference. Not that I really cared. "Oh, you're just as lovely as the last time I saw you."

"It's good to see you too, Garcia," I laughed as she fawned over me.

"Good to see you again, Lila," Emily said as she took her turn after Garcia to hug me. After her, Hotch opted to give me a handshake while Derek gave me a very tight and warm hug. Spencer was last. He gave me a bit of an awkward wave and quiet "hello." His hair significantly shorter than the last time I saw him. This hairstyle suits him a lot more.

"Spencer," I said with a sweet smile, "you can give me a hug too. I don't bite."

"Only if I want you to, right?" he said with a proud smile, referring to one of the last conversations we had.

"Exactly," I said and took the initiative to hug him. "It's really great to see you again. All of you," I said as I pulled away from Spencer. "I'm so thrilled to be working here with you guys and I promise to do the BAU justice."

"I think you'll be a great replacement. Good work, Dave," Hotch said, giving a nod in Rossi's direction. "Now, if you'll all take your seats, Garcia has a new case for us. Lila, we won't expect you to take charge just yet. For now, just watch how Garcia does it. She'll be your main coach."

I nodded as I took a seat between Spencer and Morgan. I could see Spencer glance at me from the corner of his eyes.

"Right. The case. Right." Penelope's happy demeanor quickly changed to one of solace. Whatever this case is, it has to be bad. With a click, she brought some gruesome pictures up on the big screen. I was not expecting to see what I did. "All four members of the Bennett family were murdered last night." Penelope continued to explain what happened to the family and show more pictures up on the screen. I was starting to feel nauseous from all of it. I've seen some bad things in Seattle but apparently not this bad.

"It definitely takes some getting used to," Spencer leaned over and whispered softly to me. I smiled my response.

Penelope took down all the photos and said there were more in the files that she didn't think needed to be put up for all to see. Since no one but Rossi was expecting me, I didn't have any files to look through so I glanced at Spencer's. I audibly gasped when I looked at them. The father's chest was cut open and his organs were pulled out. Disgusting. Who could do something like this?

The team tossed around ideas about what kind of person we were dealing with. Hotch then turned his attention to me. "Do you have a go bag?"

"I do, sir." Rossi (and JJ) and advised me to pack a go bag (or two) just in case. As they had both said, you never know when a case is going to pop up so it is always better to be over prepared than under. At this moment I couldn't agree with them more.

"Good. Wheels up in thirty." Apparently that was our dismissal. Everyone got up from the table and headed towards the exit of the bullpen.

"See why I told you to pack one," Rossi said as he held open the door for me.

"You did and I appreciate that. I left it in your office. Do you mind if I run and grab that?"

"Don't worry about it. I need to grab mine as well. I can pick yours up too. Go mingle with the team." With a nod I went to my other team members.

"Hey," I said as I ran up to Emily. "What should I expect with this being my first case?"

"Well right now we're going to grab everything we need for a trip. It's always a good idea to have at least two outfits in your go back. If you can make more, go for it but you don't want it to be too big. Then it gets bulky and in the way." I followed her as she went to her desk and grabbed her bag. It was pretty small but looked like it was filled to the brim. I could only image what she had inside. After years on the job you probably know all the strange things you would pack, just in case.

"After we have all our stuff and have done any last minute things we need to do, we all head out to the jet." I looked over where Rossi's office is and noticed him come out carrying his bag and mine. I smiled. That was so nice of him. "I see Rossi has your things," Emily said as Rossi walked down the stairs towards us. "Shall we head to the plane?"

"We shall," I said, smiling. I grabbed my bag from Rossi and followed him and everyone else to the jet. It was a lot more spacious than I thought it would be. I was easily able to find somewhere to sit and didn't' feel like I was taking someone's spot away from them. Spencer took the seat next to me. There wasn't a lot of time to say anything to him. Almost instantly everyone started talking about the case.

I listened intensely as the team went back and forth on ideas and theories. I felt like I didn't have any good enough ideas to toss around. It is my first day on the job and it's all a bit overwhelming. I know I have a degree in forensic psychology but studying it and doing it practically in the field (and with the FBI no less) are two very different things.

"There's no forced entry," Rossi said, looking at the crime scene pictures again. "And their table is set for five people instead of four."

"Maybe they knew the unsub?" Prentiss asked.

"The two families lived in different states but only eight miles apart. Do you think they knew each other?" Spencer asked.

Morgan pulled Penelope up on the computer and had her analyze the two families for any interaction. She came back with nothing but that both families were very religious and did a lot of church activities. But after that the similarities ended. There was no way the families could have run into each other either. From how it has started, my first case is going to be a bit of a doozy.

* * *

So, who was at Chicon last weekend? That's what caused the delay in the update but if you were there you know it was well worth it. Anyways, Lila has made it back to the BAU! Woo! I did struggle a bit with this chapter since it does involve a case. I'm not a huge fan of writing cases so they might not be a lot of them. If there is a case, I probably won't go into great detail of it. More so just an overview with focuses on the important parts. I also might pick and chose cases from all around the series. It really depends on how much I like it and how well I think I can translate it to this fic. Like I mentioned in the beginning, I'm messing with the timeline a bit.

Regular updates have resumed so the next chapter will be next Monday!


	7. First Case Celebration

So it's probably not Monday anymore in your time zone. Sorry about that. Though isn't still Monday somewhere, right? Anyways, that's to everyone who has shown this story love and support! I really appreciate it!

* * *

I didn't know how to feel after my first case. It was a whirl wind to say the least. We had been gone just over sixty hours and I had experienced so many emotions during those sixty hours than I ever thought was possible.

After we had landed, Hotch took me with him to talk to the police department. It was going to be my job to gather all the information and form a short, concise statement to tell the press. Of course, everything had to be approved by him first. I would also be in charge of giving press and media updates as the case progressed. I didn't have authorization so I wasn't allowed to go out in the field or to visit a crime scene without Hotch's supervision. That was fine with me. Looking at all the bodies, blood, and disgust was something I wanted as little to do with as possible. That was always my least favorite part about working at the Seattle Police Department but I was lucky that hardly any of that came my way.

Once the case progressed to the point where we knew we were looking for a teenage boy who was hitch hiking and that's how he was getting his victims, did I have any problems with the press. "So you're saying we shouldn't help kids in need?" "Do we need to keep our children inside?" "How are you going to handle a case with a child as the criminal?" "Is this something that any child is capable of?" The questions were nonstop, and not all of them were very relevant to the case. I feel like I held it together really well. I stuck to what I had already planned on saying and then said that once we knew more we would inform them. After that I simply thanked them and walked away. Of course this sparked more questions.

"You're doing really well," Rossi told me when I went back into the police station. Everyone was gathered inside, going over more of the case. I was shaking a bit, not use to dealing with such high publicity cases.

"Thank you," I whispered softly and sat down. Thankfully, that was the last press conference I had to do. We caught the kid a couple of hours after that. All I had to do was deliver the good news and leave. That's exactly what I did. However, there were still a ton of questions, some of which were inappropriate, but I directed all other questions to the police department. The FBI's work here was done.

We all bored the jet, ready to go back home. I was excited that I had just finished my first case and I couldn't wait to go back home and tell JJ all about it.

"So," said Emily once we were all sitting and had taken off. "How was your first case? Everything you dreamed of and more?" She smiled at me which I returned.

"It was great. Is it wrong to say that I enjoyed it? Because I really enjoyed it." I felt bad saying I really had fun and greatly enjoyed this case since people died. I guess it is good I like my job right? I just feel a bit morbid that I like it so much since several people, including children, have lost their lives.

"Hey, that's totally fine," Emily said, reassuring me. "If we all didn't have the same passion and care for what we did. We would really suck at being profilers."

"Or we'd find different careers," Morgan chipped in. The rest of them nodded their agreement.

"Okay, that's good." I felt relieved that I wasn't the only to feel this way. Working for the FBI is a strange and wonderful feeling. Obviously something I haven't experienced before so I was questioning just about everything I thought and felt. "JJ kinda prepped me before I came out but I guess nothing really prepares you for it."

"Ain't that the truth," Morgan said with a half laugh. "You never know what you're going to see or hear on the job. It's fucking crazy."

"Yeah, I can see that," I said.

"Once we land," said Hotch in his firm, commanding voice, "you and I will go into my office and go over how to file paper work after a case. Then I'll have Garcia go over how to choose cases. You and her will be in charge of that. Cases can come at any time, day or night."

"Yes, sir," I said, nodding my head.

"C'mon, Hotch, it's the girls first case. We should go out and celebrate tonight." Part of me thought Morgan was suggesting this just to see me drunk again. However, another part of me thought he might actually mean it. It's probably the latter.

Hotch sighed heavily then said, "I guess that wouldn't be a terrible idea. I do need to show you how to do the paper work. After that if you guys want to go out and have fun, that's fine. We don't have anything scheduled for tomorrow anyways."

"Awesome! I'll just stop by JJ's and change then I can meet you guys wherever," I said, feeling the excitement sinking in.

"Is that where you're staying?" asked Emily.

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm just staying with her and crashing on her couch until I can find a place for myself. It's not a terrible arrangement. I've slept on their couch before. Plus Henry is so stinkin' cute, I love being around him. But I do really need to start looking more into my own place. I don't have a good study area at JJ's and I kinda need that."

"Are you a book worm like our Lover Boy over here?" Morgan elbowed Spencer gently and I saw color enter Spencer's face.

"Books are fun," Spencer said softly, bringing his eyes to meet mine.

"Books definitely are fun," I said, agreeing with Spencer. "But I'm also working on my PhD and I need lots of space for that. Especially when I get on my kicks. I'll spend like fourteen, fifteen hours going through books and articles that I could use for my dissertation. You should have seen my desk at home. Literally stacks on stacks of information."

"That's really impressive," Rossi said, making me smile.

"Thank you. I've been working really hard on it."

"When do you defend it?" Spencer asked me. The only person in the room, or well jet, that has gotten a PhD.

"Not for a while still. Plenty of time to prepare, but you know how it is. You write your paper, you think it's terrible, you cry and question what you're even doing with your life and contemplate just running off and starting over. Then you nap and reread your paper and realize it's not as bad as you think, you just need more information and some minor changes to make. Nothing that will destroy your life." I watched Spencer as I spoke, hoping he of all people would understand what I was going through. But his face was blank. Like I was talking gibberish or something. Apparently getting a PhD is not something Spencer and I can actually talk about and bond over.

"I had my papers done within a couple weeks and they only needed minor revision. I thought it was pretty easy." It was obvious he was proud of this. And in a way he should be. Getting a doctorate is a big damn deal. Except for most people it is a lot more stressful.

"Reid, you also have three PhDs. Lila's just working on her first," Morgan said, laughing at Spencer's face. "She is doing her damn hardest."

"Thanks," I said with a light laugh, "I'm surely trying."

The rest of the flight was fun. We all talked about this and that. I got to learn more about my coworkers and what they're like. I'm going to be spending a lot of time with these people so I should know the well. JJ says they are all one big family and I can definitely see that. I hope that I can one day be totally a part of that. I'm getting there, but I'm still the new girl. I'm still a bit of an outsider. It'll take time but I'm willing to be patient.

Once we got back, Hotch showed me how to do the post filing paper work. It didn't look that hard, but a bit time consuming. When possible Penelope would be helping me with it since we're both working the same position. Well she's still the tech person and everything but we're going to be working together when it comes to going through cases. Working with her always brings me joy.

Xoxo

He was excited when Morgan suggested they all go out after they got off, which was strange of him to think. He was sure he had never had a positive thought about going out for drinks before but there's a first time for everything right?

Lila was still with Hotch when he and Morgan exited the building. "Ready for some fun tonight, Reid?" Morgan asked him playfully.

"Yeah, I kind of am," he admitted quietly.

"I'm guessing this has nothing to do with a certain blonde that now works with us, huh?" Morgan's teasing smile took up his whole face. "Are you gonna actually talk to her? Besides the few comments you made on the jet?"

"I'd like to, I just don't know what I should say. We haven't talked since she was last out here."

"Reid, she's pretty easy going. Just say something to her. Make and effort. I'm sure she'll notice and pull the conversation forward." He did have to admit, Morgan's advice was good. In all their previous conversations, she was the one to take the lead. He was more comfortable with that. Maybe that would be his approach.

"Thanks, Morgan." The two of them parted ways and headed to their respected homes to get ready.

He was pleased to find out that the bar they were going to was more on the calmer side, comparted to where they went before. And the train would take him just a block away. He didn't have to rely on Morgan picking him up, though he did offer, and he could leave whenever he pleased.

He got himself ready and read a book before heading out to this bar. He was nervous and excited about this. He hadn't gotta a chance to really talk to Lila since she came back. Granted it's been less than a week. Still, he had to put all his focus on the case instead of how her outfits shaped her body, or the shade of red lipstick she wore that made her lips look plumper. He had noticed all these things and did not even get a chance to tell her. Or kiss her. He would really like to kiss her again. Hopefully he would get his chance.

The girls were all there by the time he walked in. He smiled and waved at them before joining them at their table. "Hey," he said as he sat down.

"Boy Wonder! Welcome!" Penelope said cheerfully. "You are the first male to join us!"

"Hey, Spencer," Lila said, smiling at him as he sat down.

It was about twenty minutes before Morgan arrived. Before then, he listened to Lila, Penelope, and Emily talk about girl things. They talked about getting their hair done in different styles and the types of makeup they use. He didn't understand any of it.

Rossi and Hotch came after Morgan. The group spent most of the time talking about this or that. He wasn't focusing too much on what was being said. He was too busy stealing glances at Lila.

His drink of choice was water. The others each had a glass of alcohol but nothing excessive. This time was going to be nothing like when he went out two years ago. He was thankful for that. He wanted to actually have a conversation with Lila, not have her totally drunk.

He had a couple glances of water before excusing himself to the bathroom. On his way back to the table, he ran into Lila at the bar, ordering another drink.

"Spencer!" She smiled at him as she spoke. "Want a drink? My treat?"

"N-no, I'm fine. Thanks anyways," he said awkwardly.

"Alright. If you change your mind, just let me know." She put some money on the bar counter and waited for her drink to be served to her.

"So," he said, trying to start a conversation but struggling to. "You like to drink?"

She laughed. "Yeah, I do. I'm sure you emember how I drank way too much last time. And I still occasionally get like that. But as of late I just enjoy a drink or two out with friends."

"Do you like to drink more than just alcohol?" He regretted the way that came out as soon as he spoke. What a stupid question to ask.

"Uh, yeah?" She seemed a bit confused by what he asked and he didn't blame her. "I'm a fan of going for coffee with my friends too if that's what you're asking. Caffeine comes in handy when you need to stay up and study. I did a lot of that back in college. The habit never really died."

"That's great," he said, "I like getting coffee too. Is that, is that something you would like? To get coffee with me?" He had no idea where this surge of confidence was coming from. It was like a confident spirit or something invaded his body and asked Lila out on a date (if he believed in spirits possessing people that is).

"Oh, Spencer," Lila said in a soft tone. Her face fell a bit and he instantly regretted talking to her at all. Of course she would turn him down. "I would, but Ben and I got back together."

This was a situation he had thought about. There was history between her and Ben. He knew this. He had seen the texts between them. More than he should have. For whatever reason she liked him. Obviously she would want to get back together with Ben. Spencer himself made no effort to contact her during the two years she was away. It was stupid of him to think that she would be available. Despite being a genius be sure felt like a fucking idiot.

"Oh, right. That's fine. I get it. Listen, it was nice seeing you. Congrats on getting the job. I'll see you tomorrow at work." He left quickly before she could say anything. He didn't want to be humiliated anymore than he already was. This quick getaway is exactly why he was glad he took to train here.

* * *

I added more of Spencer's point of view. I really like doing that. I definitely want the majority of the story to be from Lila's point of view but here and there add Spencer. What do you guys think? About anything with this chapter or the story in general. Comments and suggestions are appreciated! Until next week!


	8. Moving

Hi, guys! I'm sorry I didn't post last week. And that this one is a day late. I've been working a lot since this is my company's busy season. Anyways, there's the next chapter!

* * *

Spencer all but ran out of the bar when I said I was back together with Ben. I felt terrible. I know for me personally, seeing him again did bring back some feelings for him. I still find him very attractive. But I love Ben. And I haven't spoken to Spencer in almost 2 years. I wasn't about to wait for him.

With my drink in my hand, I made my way back to my friends and coworkers. "What's wrong, Dolly?" Penelope asked as I sat down. "You look upset."

"I ran into Spencer while I was ordering my drink. He asked me out." I took a long sip of my cocktail, needing to feel the effects of the alcohol.

"Oh, no. Poor Boy Wonder," Penelope said sadly. She knew I was back with Ben. Her, Emily, and JJ all knew. Mostly because they had asked about my love life.

"Why is that a bad thing?" Morgan asked. "You two hit it off really well before. Isn't it time for round two?"

"Ben and I got back together a couple months back."

"Oh. Well. That's not what I was expecting," said Morgan.

"Neither was Spencer," I said, still feeling terrible.

"I would have thought you'd kick Benny to the curb after how he was talking to you last time," said Morgan, eyeing me.

"Derek, that was two years ago." I was feeling annoyed with the tone he was using. Yes, Ben acted like a douche a couple years ago. Big deal. We had talked it all out and he's grown since then. People change. "We took a much needed break and now we're both older and wiser and whatnot so we're giving us another shot. I think it can really work this time."

"Hey, if you think that's what's best for you, go for it." I could tell he still didn't fully believe it but I didn't have the patience to get into it with him at the moment. I was annoyed and upset.

There was an awkward and uncomfortable air for the rest of the night. I felt bad for Spencer. I really did. I'm glad the rest of the team wasn't around when he asked me out. I'm glad it was just me. He doesn't deserve the humiliation. I know he doesn't get out much with the ladies and the one time he goes for it I turn him down. But I don't owe him a date. I don't owe him anything. I'm in love with my boyfriend Ben and that's that.

Then why do I still feel so bad and kind of want to kiss him?

No, I shouldn't think like that. Yes, when we kissed two years ago it was amazing and I definitely felt a spark. But as stated, that was years ago. I'm with Ben and I'm going to stay loyal to Ben. We want to make this relationship work. We talked long and hard about me taking this job out here and what that would mean for us. We mutually decided to do the long distance thing until he can afford to move out here with me. I personally really liked this plan and was touched he was willing to relocate for me. That to me shows dedication and love.

That evening when I got home, I talked to JJ about what happened. She was one of the first people I told when Ben and I started dating again and has been up-to-date on all my dating history with him. I probably trust her opinion more than anyone's.

"So, what do you think?" I asked, taking a couple gulps of water. I got pleasantly tipsy at the bar and wanted to make sure I was hydrated. I wasn't expecting a hangover, but I wasn't going to take any risks. "I would never lead Spencer on and I don't think I did. But I still feel terrible about it. Maybe I should have brought up that I was dating Ben sooner?"

"Lila," JJ said sweetly in her motherly voice. "I know you wouldn't lead him on and I know you didn't. There really wasn't any chance for you to bring up your dating life with Spencer or the rest of the team for that matter. It's personal to you and you aren't required to disclose it. While Ben isn't my favorite person for you to be dating, I know you love him and I accept that. Spencer will be hurt for a while but he'll get over it."

"I just don't want things to be awkward, you know? We're going to be working together from now on. We have to get along. I want to be able to do my job effectively, you know?" I finished my glass of water and refilled it half way.

"I'm not gonna lie, things probably will be awkward for some time. You just gotta let that run its course. Try to act as normal as possible. And you always have me and Garcia to help you out."

JJ was right. When I went into the office the next day to file some paperwork about the case, Spencer avoided me at all costs. I ran into him going to take the elevator to the BAU division. He didn't want to get in with me and waited for the next one. I wanted coffee and Spencer himself was enjoying a cup. He quickly finished and scurried back to his desk as soon as I poured mine. He even waited until after I had handed Hotch my papers before going in and delivering his own.

Unfortunately that was just the tip of what was to come. For weeks he barely spoke to me. The only time he really did was when it involved something directly with the case we were working. He also wouldn't sit next to me unless there was nowhere else to go. It was really starting to annoy me. I got along with everyone else so easily. He just has to go and make everything so complicated and weird. I was almost tempted to go to Hotch about this. Almost. I didn't want to make it worse than it actually was so I decided to handle it on my own.

After our latest case, I waited in the lobby of the FBI headquarters for him. I wanted him to think I had left the building so he had his guard down. "Spencer!" I called as I saw him casually walk to the exit. He turned in his tracks and looked at me startled.

"Oh, uh, hey- hey Lila. What, uh, what brings you here?" He was obviously flustered. Much like when we first met. I hated to admit his blush was still insanely cute.

"Spencer, please, for the love of god, stop avoiding me." I cut straight to the point to hopefully bypass any bullshit he might have to say.

"I'm not- I'm not avoiding you." His eyes were looking everywhere but at me and he was clutching his messenger bag tightly.

I rolled my eyes. "Cut the shit, Spencer. You haven't spoken to me laxly since you asked me out and I told you I was dating Ben. I know this is awkward, okay? It's awkward for me too. But we're coworkers. And it's gonna be that way for a while." He was finally making eye contact with me. I could feel the tingles inside me, but I pushed them down. "I want to be able to talk and joke with you like everyone else. Please."

"I want that too," he said softly, keeping his eyes fixed on mine.

"Good," I smiled which he easily returned. "Friends?"

"Friends." He released his death grip on his bag.

"I'd say let's shake on it but I know how you feel about that," I said lightly, testing the waters with a small joke.

"I think I can make an exception for you." He stuck out his hand and I grasped it probably too quickly. He gave a light and awkward shake before releasing my hand. His fell back to his side.

"Since we're friends again, would you want to help me move tomorrow?"

"Move?" He seemed confused. "Move where?"

"I've been living with JJ and Will since I got here. It was nice of them but I've finally found a nice little apartment all for myself. I've already enlisted Will, Derek, and Penelope to help me tomorrow. Can I count you in too?" Will didn't really have a choice in helping me since all of my stuff is currently at his place. If he wants me gone he needs to put in the work. Penelope just wanted to come and help me decorate my new place. I'd never turn down that offer. She was the one to get Derek to agree to help out as well.

"Uh, sure. That could be fun."

"Thanks, Spencer. It totally won't be but I appreciate the help! See you tomorrow!" I darted out before he had the chance to change his mind.

Xoxo

Moving was just as unpleasant as I thought it was going to be. I had only taken my essentials with me when I first moved out here. This enabled me to get out to DC quickly and start my new job right away. My amazing mother had offered to box up all my stuff at home and slowly ship it out to me. I then had it all placed in a storage unit nearby. Now was the time to move all my things from JJ and Will's as well as move everything from the storage unit. Unfortunately neither one was that close to my new location.

Penelope and I were at my apartment, unpacking all the boxes and bags that came our way. The men were in charge of bringing us said boxes and bags. The three of them were out getting another haul from the storage unit. Penelope and I were trying to put my bedroom together.

"I see you and Boy Wonder are on good terms again. It's about time too. All the awkwardness was making me break out in hives."

"I am too, Penny." I was putting my clothes away in drawers while Penelope made my bed. "And I got him to help with the move today."

"Thank goodness. We need all the help we can get." We were on our forth hour of work and we were able to get a lot more done with an extra set of hands. Granted Spencer is not as strong as Derek or Will so he can't carry as much. However each box moved helps.

"Ladies!" I heard Derek yell. I left my door unlocked so they could easily move in and out. "We have the last of the boxes! About damn time too." I heard a thud which I assumed was Derek putting down my boxes.

"Great." I came out of my bedroom and surveyed the remaining things they brought. "One storage unit down, three more to go."

"Excuse me?" Derek looked like he was going to pass out or strangle me. Or both. "You have three fucking more storage units? How much shit did you bring with you?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "I'm totally kidding. I only have the one. I just wanted to see your reaction. Will looks like he's about to be sick!" Will's face instantly paled when I made my joke and that alone was worth it.

Derek chuckled. "Alright, Blondie, you got me."

"Seriously, guys, thank you so much. I really appreciate all your help. If you wanna hang out for a little bit, I'll make you some thank-you cookies."

"I have to go pick up Henry, otherwise I would," said Will. I gave him a hug and he excused himself to go be with his son.

"I'm down to stay. What about you, Reid?" Derek turned to his coworker as he spoke. I myself was watching Spencer closely. Things weren't quite to where I wanted them to be but they were getting better. I was actually able to have a conversation with Spencer when he first came over.

"Sure. Sounds great." Spencer met my eyes and I smiled. "But, uh, do you have any aspirin? I've got a bit of a headache going on."

"Yeah, of course! I just unpacked those boxes. Let me grab that for you." I went and grabbed all my painkillers to bring to Spencer, unsure of which one he would prefer. Honestly they are all the same to me but I know different people like different things.

"Thank you," he said and took a couple pills.

"Of course. I hope that helps you. And thank you again for helping me move."

"You owe us big time, Little Miss Lila O'Haul. If I ever see another one of your boxes I might just have to kill you." Derek collapsed into one of my chairs. I laughed.

"Is my beautiful Derek Morgan complaining?" Penelope finally emerged from my room. I was a little curious as to why it took her so long to come out but part of me didn't want to know. I had a feeling she was going through more of my things and decorating without my permission.

"Mama, have you seen how much stuff this girl has? The amount of stuff she has rivals you."

"Believe it or not, I'm getting another shipment next week," I laughed as I went into the kitchen. I promised cookies and I was going to deliver.

"I'm not helping," called Derek.

"I don't expect you too. Ben's driving my car up here with the remaining stuff. He'll be the one to do all the heavy lifting."

"I wish that man all the luck in the world," Derek retorted, making me laugh again.

After cookies were made, the four of us were relaxing and just talking. Derek had eaten the majority of the cookies and I was glad I opted to make several batches instead of just one. I was having a really great time with my friends. After one of our conversations came to a lull, Spencer spoke up. "So, I have a question."

"Shoot, Reid," Derek said as he ate another cookie.

"During our last case, Garcia, you mentioned taxi's being tracked more than Gaga's twitter. Rossi was supposed to explain that to me but never did."

I honestly thought I was going to die, I was laughing so hard.

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Another chapter down! I hope you guys like it! I'm totally open if you guys have any suggestions.


	9. Headache

Hey guys! How have you been? Ready for another update? I'm not sure I'll be posting an update next week. I have another convention to go to this weekend so we'll see how things work out. Anyways, thanks to everyone who has been showing this story love and support! It means a lot to me!

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Spencer was trying his hardest to make things normal between him and Lila. He still found her incredibly beautiful, just like he had years ago. It was hard on him to know that she was back with her ex. He was totally fine with just avoiding her for the rest of his life but she had to go and confront him. He saw pain in her face and that broke his heart even more. Never did he want to hurt her. If trying to act normal around her was what would make her happy, he would try to do it.

Helping her move was not as awkward as he thought it was going to be. He was glad Morgan, Garcia, and Will were present. He wasn't sure he would have been able to do it if it was just him. That would have been too much alone time with Lila. He still had feelings for her. He kind of felt that she still liked him, but thinking that way wouldn't do any good.

The next time he saw her at work, she was chitchatting with Emily. He decided to try to act normal like requested. "Hey," he said, approaching them. He swore Lila's face lit up when he approached. "What are you guys up to?"

"Emily was just telling me funny stories about her cat." There was a smile on Lila's face that in turn made him smile. He didn't understand why people were so obsessed with cats but if it made her happy, it couldn't be that bad.

"I went to pee once and came back to him having dragged a piece of chicken off the kitchen table and into the living room where he proceeded to eat it on the couch." Lila thought that was hilarious and started laughing right away. He thought it was funny too but not like Lila. It probably also didn't help that his head was killing him.

His head had been hurting the past few days. It wasn't bad at first but as time went on, his headaches were getting more and more intense. Taking painkillers wasn't helping him and neither was upping his caffeine intake. In fact, the latter may be making it worse. He wasn't sure. Either way, his head was currently pounding. If he got up too fast or moved too quickly, he could feel the pounding behind his eyes.

"Guys." He looked up and saw Garcia coming towards them. "We have a new case."

It was hard for him to focus during the briefing session. His head was aching and starting to make him feel sick. He was trying to keep himself together as Garcia went through what the case is about. He vaguely heard her mention they were going to Indiana to catch a serial killer who is murdering exotic dancers.

On the plane there he was feeling really awful. The pressure change, turbulence, and pounding headache was making his stomach churn. He made his way to the back of the plane where the bathroom is located. Unfortunately, the coffee pot resides in that area too. Lila was making herself a cup. "Hey," she smiled at him. "Are you here for the coffee as well? I'll pour you a cup."

"Actually," he said, pushing past her. "I don't feel well. Excuse me."

Vomiting made him feel slightly better. There was still a dull ache in his head but it wasn't as bad as before. For the rest of the flight he tried to relax as best as he could without drawing attention to himself. Lila was the only one of the group who seemed to pay him any mind. She kept glancing at him and it was making him nervous. He didn't want the others knowing he was suffering. There was nothing they could do. Plus he didn't want them to think that he wasn't capable of doing his job.

Once the plane landed Hotch divided them up. Spencer was lucky enough to get paired with Lila and talk to the victim's families. Lila took the driver's seat and the two of them headed out. It was quiet for a moment before she spoke. "Are you doing alright, Spence? You didn't look so good on the plane. And I heard you get sick in the bathroom."

"Yeah, I'm fine." He kept his voice soft and quiet. His gaze was out the window. He wasn't sure if he could lie to her face. "Motion sickness is quite common on planes. Your central nervous system receives conflicting signals from your senses-"

"Yeah, I get how that works, Spencer. I just don't believe that's what happened to you." Her voice was firm and he could hear the irritation. Perhaps he should have just left it at he was fine. He didn't need to add another lie on top of it.

He glanced over at her and saw she was clenching the steering wheel, clearly annoyed. He signed. "I had a migraine."

"Is it gone now?" Her question was of true concern. Her blue eyes flickered over to him. Long enough to make a connection but quick enough to not put them at risk of reckless driving.

"Kind of. It's at least better. Please don't say anything to the others. I don't want them to think I can't do my job." They had reached a stop light. His eyes were trained on her face and as soon as they came to a full and complete stop, she turned towards him. She was obviously worried about him. It was written all over her face. A face he still found insanely pretty and really wanted to kiss.

The light switched to green. Lila's attention was brought back to the road in front of them. "I won't say anything, Spencer," she said as she started to drive. "Please just take care of yourself. And I'm here for you if you need me." She reached her right hand across to him. Her hand fell lightly on top of his and she gave it a gentle squeeze before placing it back on the wheel. He smiled, thankful for her kindness.

His headaches were coming off and on during the whole case. With everything going on though, no one but Lila seemed to notice. He was pretty convinced if she wasn't getting coffee on the plane when he fell ill, she too would not notice.

After three days, the unsubs had finally been apprehended. They were able to save their latest victim and in his line of work, that's a win. He was worried the plane ride home would yield the same results as the plane ride there. Thankfully it didn't. Lila was keeping an eye on him…until she fell asleep. He watched her breath even out and her eyes scurry back and forth as she entered REM sleep. He envied that she was able to rest while his head started to pound again. But she looked so peaceful and beautiful, he wouldn't dream of disturbing her.

When they got back to the bureau, the group split up. Some went home, like Rossi, Emily, and Morgan. Others, like Lila, Hotch, Garcia, and himself, stayed to get a head start on the next day. They didn't arrive home too late at night so plugging in a couple hours at the office wasn't unreasonable. They all went to their respective quarters to do their work.

His headache was growing worse and worse but he was determined not to let it bother him. He tried to focus hard on his work. One by one the others left, leaving him alone at the office. He was still trudging along, trying to get his usual amount done.

"Hey," he looked up and saw Lila walking over to him. "You're still here? You're usually the first person done with their work. And then some." She sat down on his desk, eyeing him. "Head still bothering you?"

"I thought you left already." The lights were starting to bother him so he squinted as he looked up at her.

"I did, but I realized I forgot my keys. Those are kinda important." She dangled her keys in front of him, showing that she had what she came back for. Yet she wasn't leaving. "Is your head still bothering you?" She asked her question again. He avoided it the first time, hoping she would leave it alone. Apparently not.

"Yeah," he said, lowering his head to avoid her gaze and the light.

"Light sensitivity?"

"Yeah."

"I'm no doctor…yet, but I want to try and help you." He smiled a bit when she made the doctor comment He knows she's been working hard on her doctorate degree. He's seen her bring books on her subject on the plane with her. She sits there diligently reading, chewing her lower lip when she gets really into it. "Close your eyes." Her command snapped him out of his thoughts. "I use to get migraines when I'd be up for several nights studying for an exam. So close your eyes." He obeyed. "Good. Now, just let your head relax." He did so. Her fingers ran through his hair, making him jump slightly. "It's okay. It's just me. This is what I use to do. It helped, a bit. Well enough for me to make it through the day anyways."

Spencer let out a breath, enjoying the feeling of her fingers in his hair. She was gently rubbing his head at various spots. It felt really nice. His headache was still going strong but her nimble fingers were light and soft. Like her lips. He felt the tension between them. It was thick and drowning. He was sure she had to feel it too. They hadn't been this close since they first met. At least for him, this position was bringing back a lot of those memories. In fact, her fingers were in his hair the last time they kissed.

"Spencer," her breathy voice broke his thoughts. Picking up his head and opening his eyes, he realized she was right in front of him. Her face inches from his. "Spencer, I-" She slowly pulled her fingers away. Her eyes were locked on his.

"I know." He leaned back in his chair to put some distance between them, as much as he didn't want to. "I feel it too."

"I didn't mean to." She looked scared and upset with herself. "I just wanted to help with your headaches."

"I know," he repeated. He met her eyes again. "I know I still have feelings for you."

"I do too. I thought that with all the time passing and me getting back together with Ben I wouldn't. But I'm still attracted to you. And I thought it would be okay. I thought I could handle it. Hell, I yelled at you for not handling it. But then you were casually talking to me and I hated seeing you in pain in the plane and car. Then I see you here and touching you like that just sent sparks through my body. So much so that I almost fucking kiss you. My god, I'm a fucking mess." He watched her as she rambled. As she went on she got more and more upset. Her words were speeding up and her face flushed. She was about to start crying.

"Hey." He reached out and grabbed her hand. "Don't cry. This isn't worth crying over." The sight of tears rolling over her cheeks was breaking his heart. The last thing he ever wanted to do was make her cry, yet here she was.

"I'm sorry," she sniffled, "my stupid insurance changed with my new job so I had to switch to new birth control and it's making me cry. A lot. At everything." He knew a decent amount about birth control. However, he never had to take it and cannot fully understand what it feels like from the inside. He assumed she knew what she was talking about. Still, he hated to see her cry.

"So what should we do?" Spencer was almost afraid to ask.

"I'm not sure." She wiped away a few tears. "Above everything, you're my friend, Spencer. I don't ever want that to change. And as much as I want to get on that chair with you and kiss you like no tomorrow, I'm not. I really do love Ben. I want things to work with us."

"So we're friends?"

She laughed slightly, making him smile. "Friends." There was a beat of silence before she spoke again. "I guess I'll be heading home then."

"Yeah, I will too. I'm not going to finish anything more tonight." They both stood up at the same time, they're bodies almost pressing against each other. Both of them were blushing. "See- see you tomorrow, then." He whispered, looking down at her. Standing at full height the top of her head ended just under his nose.

"Yeah. See you," she said, not breaking her eye contact.

He wanted to kiss her. He really did. He didn't think she would pull away from him either. But he couldn't do that. It wasn't fair to her and it wasn't fair to her boyfriend. Even though Spencer really didn't like Ben. Instead, he lightly pressed his lips to her cheek. He turned on his heels and headed out, not wanting to test his patience anymore.

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I was having trouble with this chapter and how it was going to work until I made it from Spencer's point of view. I hope you like it.


	10. House Warming

Woo! Hey guys! How have you been? It always feels weird when I miss a week. Anyways, here is the latest update! I hope you guys like it! Thanks again for all the love you have shown this story!

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As soon as I got back to my apartment, I called Penelope. "Hey, Lovely, what's up?" She sounded a bit drowsy, like I might have woken her up. Under any other circumstances I would feel bad. But not this time. I needed someone to talk to about what just happened between Spencer and myself.

"Oh, my god, Penny. Spencer and I had a moment."

"What do you mean you and Boy Wonder had a moment?" Any sign of sleep was gone from her voice. She was totally into the conversation we were having.

"I mean I almost fucking kissed him kind of moment."

I heard her gasp. "You did not!"

"I mean I didn't kiss him. He kissed me on the cheek as he left, but that's not the point. I was literally right in front of his face and I just wanted to kiss those beautiful lips so freaking badly. Ugh, why am I like this?" I fell back onto my bed completely mentally and physically exhausted. At this moment I was definitely leaning more towards mentally. I took a nap on the plane and that gave me a nice boost of physical energy.

"Do you still like him?" Her question was honest. More honest than I wanted to get at the moment.

"Yeah, I think I do. But I still love Ben. I really do. But Spencer…there's just something there, you know?"

"Is Ben still coming up on Friday?"

"Yeah." As planned, Ben is driving my car across the country so I can have it with me here in DC. He's staying a few days with me before flying back home. He's doing all of this for me, so I can work on my education and career and here I am, getting the hots for my coworker.

"I think you need to have a conversation with him."

"Yeah, I think so too. I just don't know how it's going to go and that scares me. Like really. I'm terrified, Penny. What do I do?"

"Dolly, as much as I want you and Boy Wonder to get together and make beautiful brilliant genius babies-"

"I'm sorry, what?" Penelope threw me for a loop. Kissing Spencer and fooling around with Spencer were definitely thoughts I had been having. Settling down for the long haul and having children with him were not.

"I know you love Ben and Ben loves you." She completely ignored my outburst. "I'll support you no matter which man you choose."

"Thanks, Penny," I sighed. I appreciated her love and support but I really wanted her to make some decisions for me. "I guess I'll talk to you at work tomorrow?"

"I'll see you then, My Sweet." The phone clicked signaling that she hung up.

I put my phone on charge and sighed. All I wanted to do was help Spencer with his migraine. That's all. But touching him like that… His hair was so soft, just like when we first kissed. It was like I was in that moment again. I didn't realize I was inching closer and closer to him until I could feel his breath on my face. I was partially relieved that Spencer was feeling the same way I was. I mean I knew he still kind of liked me. He asked me out after all. But that moment at the BAU was different. It was very intimate and personal. And definitely something I needed to talk to Ben about.

xoxo

I took a deep breath as I walked into work the following day. We were mostly just doing some paper work about the case that we just wrapped up. I was worried about seeing Spencer. I didn't know how to act around him. Just thinking about him was causing my heart to flutter. I blamed my new birth control for fucking with my emotions and hormones like this. I hated it. Right when I need to hold myself together the most my birth control fucks it all up. Oh well.

"Little Miss Lila! Welcome in." Derek was the first to greet me that morning. He had a stack of papers in his hands. I assumed they had something to do with our past case.

"Hey, Derek. Working hard or hardly working?" My nerves were calming down with my friendly interaction with him.

"Little bit of both. How else would you stay sane?" He smiled and I easily returned it.

"So, so true. Hey are you doing anything tomorrow night?"

"No, I was just gonna have a chill night at home. Why? What's up?"

"I'm gonna have a bit of a house warming party. Nothing major. Just you guys, Ben, and JJ and Will." JJ hadn't seen my new place yet and I felt bad about that. I know she's been busy with her new job. I've been busy working here too. I figured this would be a perfect way. And I really do want my friends to meet Ben in person.

"You want me back in your apartment after I spent all of last Saturday moving your shit into it? And are you telling me you've managed to unpack everything while spending like four days in a different state?"

"Well, there's still some boxes but all the essentials are where they should be. And I promise you won't have to lift a finger."

"I'm gonna hold you to that." He left and went on his way to his desk.

I went to my office to get started on my work for the day, half avoiding Spencer, half not. I was just trying to get my work done which happened to involve me keeping to myself. As Rossi, Penelope, and Hotch passed my office, I peeked out and told them about my house warming party. They all seemed interested and wanted to go. I wasn't sure if I was going to invite Spencer. Part of me wanted him there but part of me was worried about what kind of situation that would create. Especially with Ben being present.

About half way through my work, I left the safety of my office and went to get some coffee. Emily and Spencer were already there, talking. I wanted to turn around and go back but that wouldn't solve anything. Plus I had already told Spencer off for avoiding me before. I couldn't then start to avoid him. I didn't want to be a hypocrite.

"Hey, Emily. Hey, Spencer." I greeted both of them as I walked up. I looked away from Spencer as quickly as I could.

"Hey, Lila. You just missed Morgan. He was saying something about a party at your place tomorrow night?" Damn that Derek Morgan. I wanted Emily there for sure but now that Spencer knows I have to invite him.

"Yeah, I was actually looking for you guys to tell you." It wasn't a completely lie. I needed to find Emily and tell her. "Tomorrow night at like maybe five-ish? Come on over. There will be food. There will be friends. And Will and JJ are coming. Ben is also gonna be there."

"I'll be there," Emily reassured me.

"Spencer?" I asked softly, taking my time to look up into his eyes.

"I'll try to stop by," he said just as softly as I did. I nodded to him then he walked away.

"Okay, that was weird," said Emily, looking from Spencer's retreating figure to my face. I tried to keep my expression as calm and neutral as I could.

"Really? You think so?" I attempted to lie but I knew she could see right through me.

"I don't even need to be a profiler to know that you don't even believe what you just said." She was eyeing me closely.

"Ugh, fine. I'll tell you." I gave her a brief rundown on what had happened between Spencer and myself last night as well as my conversation with Penelope. "That brings us to this interaction," I said as I wrapped it up.

"Wow. That explains it."

"Yeah, got any good advice?" I was desperate for someone to tell me anything. Any guidance.

"I wish I did. I'm not the best when it comes to relationships. But I agree that this is something you should talk to Ben about."

"Thanks, Emily. That was helpful." I sighed and went back to my office to finish up my work. I was annoyed. Ben was coming in tonight and I wasn't sure what I was going to say to him.

My mind was still swimming as I went home. Ben had texted me and said he'd be at my place within the hour. My mind was racing. I haven't seen him in weeks and now I'll have him to myself for 4 days on end (as long as we don't get a case). I was nervous and excited to see him. To kiss him. But knowing I have to talk to him about Spencer was driving me crazy. I just want to have a normal, relaxing evening with my boyfriend.

I got home and did some last minute cleaning. I know it wasn't going to be perfect. I've been away more of the week and still have so many boxes left to unpack. But what can a girl do? My friends know my situation and won't judge me. Neither will Ben.

Just over an hour later, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he was in the parking garage. I was ecstatic! I ran from my building, wearing only socks, and went straight to the garage. There he was, leaning up against my car with his backpack on. Tears formed in my eyes as I ran to him and threw my arms around his neck, kissing him like there was no tomorrow. "Ben," I said softly as he held onto me. "Fuck, Ben, I've missed you so much."

"I've missed you too, Li." His strong arms held me perfectly in place against him. My favorite place to be.

After a few more minutes of hugs and kisses we made our way back to my apartment. Not a lot of talking was done that night. It was mostly sex. Passionate sex. All thoughts of Spencer had left my head. That night it was just Ben and myself. Nothing else in the world mattered. I got to fall asleep in the arms of my man and my dreams were peaceful.

The following day I spent as much time in bed with Ben as I could. I did have to get the place looking decent for the party but thankfully I got most of that done the night before. That left Ben and I time to do whatever we pleased. I avoided as much talk about work as I could. I didn't want to get into that with him now and spoil the mood for later on. I was torn between whether or not I wanted Spencer to come. I wanted to see him but didn't want things to become awkward.

Penelope was the first one to arrive which didn't surprise me at all. She said she was going to come early and help set up but I think she really just wanted to meet Ben first.

"Ben is so cute," she whispered to me while I tidied up my living room a bit more. Ben was in the kitchen, setting up all the food and drinks I had purchased. "He's like a white Derek Morgan."

I couldn't help but laugh out loud. "Ben's muscular, yes, but I don't think he's Derek Morgan ripped. And definitely not Derek Morgan outgoing. Ben's more quiet and reserved. Unless with friends or drunk. Or both."

"Still," Penelope said, "he's a beautiful hunk of man meet and I definitely approve as long as he makes you happy and treats you right. Though I have always and will always support you and Boy Wonder, I respect whatever choice you make in life."

"Thanks, Penelope. I think."

"How long is he out here for?" she asked.

"Only a few days. He has to go back to Seattle and work. But in about eighteen months he'll have completed his training and probation and he can put in a transfer request to come out and work here."

"That's not terrible. I think you guys can make it through that." She was very confident.

"Thanks, Penelope. Really this time," I said with a smile.

Within the hour, people started to show up. JJ and Will were the first to arrive. Will talked with Ben while I gave JJ the grand tour of my apartment. Penelope came along too and pointed out all the decorations she had done and how she wanted to do more. JJ agreed with some of her suggestions. I smiled. Their enthusiasm meant so much to me. I know I'm their friend (or in JJ's case family as well) but it was moments like this where I really felt it.

Derek, Rossi, and Hotch showed up later on. It was nice having them all there. They all seemed to really like Ben and got along with him really well. Since Ben is also in law enforcement, they were all able to talk about their jobs and related to one another. Derek seemed to really like Ben even though he seemed to be the most against him earlier on.

I wasn't expecting Spencer to come but he did. He came a couple hours after JJ and Will but I didn't mind. Part of me was happy to see him and part of me was very nervous. I introduced him to Ben as I had done with everyone else. I tried to act normal and keep my composure but I was sure that I was acting more on edge and nervous. Spencer didn't shake Ben's hand, as I expected, and simply waved politely at him. Ben was a little put off but didn't say anything.

I showed Spencer to the kitchen were all the food was located. "Thanks for coming. I didn't think you would." I spoke softly as I leaned against my counter.

"No problem. I thought it would be rude if I didn't." He took a plate and put a slice of pizza on it. "Is everyone else here?"

"Everyone except Emily. She texted me and said her cat wasn't feeling well so she wanted to stay home and take care of him."

"That sucks," he said, his words fading into an awkward silence that I didn't know how to break. I kept my eyes trained on him, watching his movements. He slowly met my gaze and we stood like that. Just staring at each other. I could feel the tension.

"Do you want me to get more pizza?" I didn't hear Ben walk in until he was next to me. It felt like my heart flew out of my chest. Spencer did give a small jump.

"Uh, I think this is okay. Thank you, Babe." I quickly composed myself, looking away from Spencer as quickly as I could. Spencer mumbled that there was enough food for him and quickly left the kitchen, going to seek solace with his friends.

For the rest of the party, I tried to avoid Spencer. That wasn't the hardest as he was the first to leave. He stayed an hour at most, then made up some generic excuse to leave. I instantly felt relieved.

One by one everyone left my apartment. I was so happy that they were all able to come and have a good time. I was so caught up in that that my awkwardness with Spencer had almost left my mind completely. Until I was cleaning up in the kitchen and Ben came in.

"So, this Spencer guy." Ben proceeded to lean against my counter "He seems interesting."

"I mean you're not wrong." I started to do the dishes so I wouldn't have to face him. "Everyone on the team is."

"But there was something different about him. The way you two would look at each other. Like there was something there." His voice was flat and that worried me.

"He is the one I kissed when I was back here a couple years ago." It wasn't a lie. Spencer and I did share a kiss (or several) at Rossi's. Ben knew this. When I had come back from that trip, Ben was still trying to get with me. Of course I had to tease that I had made out with a really hot guy while I was away.

"That was two years ago. That's not the look you give someone you once kissed two years ago and haven't talked to since." I could tell he was looking at me but I didn't want to look at him. My heart was racing. "What's going on?"

"Ben," I said softly, placing the dirty dishes down. "I love you."

"I love you." His response was immediate.

"There has been some… tension between me and Spencer." My voice was breaking as I spoke. I was still struggling to make eye contact with him.

He sighed. "Okay, there's been tension. What does that mean? What does that mean for us?"

"I love you, Ben. You. Not Spencer." I turned fully towards him. My hands were shaking as I looked up into his eyes. The hurt and pain in there hit me hard. I felt so incredibly guilty that this all happened. I hated what I was doing to him. "There was something between me and Spencer, I can't deny that. But you're so much more important than him. You're my world. You're the one that I want."

I could tell he was still hurt. I would be too if I was in his position. "I trust you, Lila. You're a big girl and if something was going on I trust that you would tell me the truth. It doesn't make me happy that you and him… I don't even wanna know what."

"Nothing! The most that happened was he kissed my cheek once after a case. I swear to you, Ben, I would never ever hurt you like that." I reached for his hands and I was thankful he didn't pull away. "I'm yours."

"It does make me uncomfortable that you work with him. Especially when you go off on cases. I kinda wanna beat his scrawny ass."

"I know. I understand that. But I promise you, Ben," I started to cry as I spoke. "Nothing will take me away from you. Not Spencer. Not anyone. I love you."

He pulled me close to him. I could hear his heart beat as I pressed my head against his chest. "I love you too, Lila. More than anything. This distance is just a killer."

"It is. I miss you."

"Eighteen months then I can put in my transfer."

"That's so far away."

"It is, but it'll be worth it."

* * *

Another chapter done! How do you guys feel about it? Was anyone at Wizard World Chicago last weekend? I was! Also, I know I started this earlier but I want to reiterate it. I'm fucking with the timeline. I was trying to keep things as chronologically close to the show as possible but screw that. Seasons 7 through like 9 are gonna be kinda jumbled. I want to work in Emily leaving and Maeve and then have my way with season 9. So just kinda go with the flow. It'll all make sense in the end. Until next time!


	11. Comfort

Guys, I know, I'm terrible. I'm another week and a day late. We're in the busy season at my work and I just got a promotion so I'm working like all day everyday. I think, at least for the rest of the year, I'm gonna update every other week. Its less stress on me and I can create more quality chapters. Of course, there might be a week where the juices are just flowing but I'm not gonna make any promises I can't keep. I hope you guys understand.

I also want to give you guys a bit of a warning for this chapter. There is mention of rape and self harm. Nothing detailed. Just implications. I just wanted to warn you.

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Life working at the BAU had reached a normal. We'd go on cases, we'd (hopefully) solve cases, and then we'd go home. The cycle would then repeat. Sure, we'd hang out, go out to dinner, go to a bar, and whatnot too. Those times were fun. I loved being with my coworkers. We always have a blast together. Even being around Spencer has been pretty good. We've been able to be alone and not have things get awkward. Well, most of the time. The sexual tension comes back every now and then. There were still moments when I wanted to throw myself on him and kiss him but for the most part that had died down. Ben and I have put more effort into our relationship and I think that has really helped.

Well, I should say life working at the BAU was normal until Emily died. It was very unexpected. Her whole backstory with Ian Doyle was very unexpected. The days leading up to it were a turmoil and a blur. We worked round the clock in an effort to get Doyle and help Emily. Unfortunately, our efforts were in vain.

That night at the hospital was a rough one. Morgan had an arm around Penelope and myself as we cried over the loss of our friend. JJ, who had come back to help, was holding Spencer as he openly sobbed. "I never got to say goodbye," he muttered and it resonated with me. None of us did. None of us got to tell Emily we loved her, appreciated her. We never got to say how we can't function without her. We never got to plead for her to stay. She was taken too fast. Too soon.

I stayed with Penelope that night. I didn't want to go back to my apartment alone. We sat on the couch, a huge blanket covering us and as we shared a gallon tub of ice cream. Neither of us wanted to go to sleep, we were afraid of the nightmares it would bring. Instead we put on some old sitcoms in the hopes they would help.

They didn't.

"I miss her," I said softly, staring at my spoonful of ice cream. We had both been crying off and on since Emily died. We were trying to keep ourselves together, but it was a struggle. We both loved and missed her so badly if physically ached.

"I do too," she choked out. Tears were flowing from her eyes again, more of her mascara running. She grabbed a tissue and blew her nose loudly, then adding it to the already overflowing trash can. It didn't matter. We could clean later.

I put my spoon in my mouth, eating the ice cream off of it. I found it easier to control my cries if I was eating something. That only worked to a certain degree.

We didn't really sleep that night. We stayed up until the sun rose, talking and crying about Emily. We tried to cheer ourselves up with happy stories, but that seemed to only make us cry more. And it didn't help that Penelope had taken Emily's cat, Sergio. The cat was a darling but seeing him run around reminded me of Emily. Especially when he jumped up and tried to eat our ice cream.

Emily's death definitely caused a riff in the BAU. Hotch left to join another task force that sent him over seas. JJ came back, but this time as a profiler. She had told me she wanted to and that she was in training for it. It was such a pleasure to actually have her back on the team.

Spencer also left which made me really sad. I knew he had gone to visit his mom for at least a few days. I wasn't sure what he was doing once he got back. At the BAU we tried to keep ourselves busy with different assignments. It was pretty much one right after another right after another. It was a bit exhausting.

Morgan and Penelope were trying to look for Ian Doyle on the down low. I helped out when I could. Since the case was, in the eyes of the bureau, closed no one could know about the work. There were files and files of information that Morgan had dug up. It took longer to go over the information since there were only a few of us and we had to do it on personal time.

About two months after Emily had passed, I was in my apartment. It had been weeks since I last spoke to Spencer or Hotch. I didn't know what either of them were doing or what they were up to. I trusted Hotch to take care of himself. He seemed to be the most composed that night at the hospital. Of course that raised some suspicions with me. He was almost too composed.

Spencer was the one I wanted to talk to the most but I didn't know how to go about doing it. JJ had given me updates but it's not the same as seeing and talking to the person yourself. As these thoughts whirled around in my head, my phone started to ring. I groaned, thinking it was another case. All I wanted was one night to relax and not try to find a killer.

My heart fluttered a bit when my caller ID showed that it wasn't the BAU. It was Spencer. As quickly as I could, I answered. "Hey, there," I said pleasantly.

"Hey, Lila, it's Spencer," he said and I couldn't help but giggle.

"Yeah, I figured. That's the name that came up on the caller ID."

"Right, yeah. Forgot about that." I could hear the embarrassment in his voice. But also sadness.

"That's alright. What can I do for you, Spencer?"

"Uh, are you busy right now?"

"Nope, I'm free."

"Do you mind if I come over for a bit?"

"Not at all, Spence."

"Okay, then, I'll be there in a few minutes."

"I'll leave the door open." I hung up my phone and sat down on my couch. With JJ was back at the BAU, we talked a lot more since we saw each other almost every day. She told me Spencer was over at her house several times a week, crying. It broke my heart. JJ had told me her, Will, and Henry were going out of town for a few days to visit Will's side of the family. I figured that since JJ isn't here to console Spencer, he chose me.

About ten minutes later Spencer walked in, looking upset and disheveled. He quietly closed the door and glanced over at me. "Hey," he whispered.

"Hey, Spence." I patted the seat next to me. "Come and sit. Want me to get you anything? Coffee? Water? Tea?"

"Um, no, I'm okay." He clearly wasn't but I was not going to contest him. He sat down next to me and a moment a silence passed between us.

"I know you're here because JJ isn't around to help you," I whispered and looked over at him. He didn't meet my eyes. He only nodded. "Tell me how I can help you."

He sniffled. "I…I don't know how to help me. If I did, I wouldn't need to keep going to JJ's. It's been weeks and I still don't feel any better. Everything hurts."

"I know," I said softly. I reached over and grabbed his hand. He didn't stop me. "I'm hurting too."

"But it's different," Spencer almost snapped. "This pain it makes me… It makes me…" He was struggling to finish what he was about to say.

"Want to hurt yourself?" I offered. In an instant, his eyes were on mine. He didn't need to say anything else. "I know. I feel the same."

"Lila-" he started to say, bewildered.

"It doesn't matter how much time passes since you last did it. You know you're capable of it. The urges are there, given the circumstances. Even after ten years."

We sat on my couch, holding hands, for what felt like a lifetime. No other words were needed, really. We both knew how the other felt. We both understood each other a little bit better. It was a blessing and a curse.

He was the first one to break the silence. "I got captured by an unsub once. Tobias Hankle. He…he tortured me with drugs. Dilaudid. I…I became addicted. It's been awhile since, since I last shot up. Years. But…but with Emily gone…" Tears were falling from his eyes and his voice cracked as he spoke.

"You feel like doing it again." It wasn't a question. I squeezed his hand in reassurance. "It's okay to have the feeling. That's gonna happen. Its how you handle the feeling that matters."

"I haven't done it. It's not what Emily would have wanted."

There was another moment of silence. I was debating if I wanted to share my story. I knew he wouldn't press me for details. That's not who he is. That's not who we are. But he opened up to me about his struggle and his past. I felt like I should do the same for him.

"When I was fourteen, almost fifteen, I wanted to be more mature than I was. I started acting, behaving, and dressing like I was an adult. Especially dressing. It attracted the attention from this guy who was almost six years older than me. At the time, I thought this was good. People were seeing me as an adult. I didn't realize how fucking creepy it was at the time. Anyways, I wanted to be an adult. I needed to act like an adult. So…I acted like an adult…with this guy. I didn't know why at the time, but I didn't like how I felt after that. I didn't like who I was becoming. I felt yucky and icky and confused. I thought I had done something wrong. So…I started to hurt myself. It made me feel better. I didn't know what was going on in my mind. I couldn't control my thoughts. But I felt like I could control this. I couldn't, really, but it felt like I could. Anyways, it took a couple years and some therapy to get better."

I hadn't told many people about that part of my past. My closest friends and family are really the only ones that know.

"I'm really sorry." Spencer spoke so quietly I almost didn't hear him. He scooted closer to me and I did the same. I leaned my head against his shoulder, feeling a calmness come over me as I did so.

"Thanks, Spencer." I adjusted myself so I could look up at him. "I'm sorry about your struggle too. I can't even imagine what it must have been like to have a drug addiction and be part of the FBI."

"I was lucky it was kept hush hush. The team knew but they never ratted me out. I probably would have lost my job if they had."

"Wow. Then we would have never met." I couldn't imagine working for the BAU without Spencer being part of it. It would be so empty without him.

"I know. I can't imagine not knowing you." I smiled as Spencer spoke. It made me happy that we were on the same page with that. Even if nothing romantic ever happens between us, I'm so incredibly thankful that I have him in my life. He's one of my best friends.

We stayed in that position for a while. Leaning on each other for comfort. It was the solace we both needed and I don't think we realized it until now. We had both struggled in the past and that struggle seemed to bring us together.

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Another chapter down! I hope you guys have enjoyed the story so far. And I hope you understand the bigger spacing between updates. Being an adult is so exhausting.


	12. Emily

Hey guys! Thank you all so much for being understanding with my crazy schedules. I really appreciate it. I think the update every other Monday is gonna be the way to go for the rest of the year. I really appreciate you guys understanding. I love you all!

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After several months, we were finally able to track down Ian Doyle by finding his son, Declan. Finally, after far too long, we could get some revenge for Emily.

With almost too much ease, Derek was able to apprehend Doyle and bring him into our custody. Unfortunately, his son got abducted. This created new problems. A little boy was out there, missing, and we needed to save him. Hotch and Spencer had returned once they heard we knew were Doyle was and were aiding us. But it wasn't enough. We needed more help than what we had. We needed someone who knew Declan and Ian inside and out.

All of us, except Hotch and JJ, were going over possible abductors. Although we were coming up rather empty. "Everyone." Our attention was captured as Hotch walked into the conference room with JJ right behind him. "Several months ago I made a decision that effected this team. I take full responsibility for it." He then proceeded to tell us that Emily did not die. She was saved, flown to Paris, and given multiple fake identities. Hotch and JJ were the only ones that knew about it.

I almost didn't believe what he was saying until Emily herself stepped into the room. My heart stopped. Never in a million years did I think I would see her alive again. I was happy and elated but also angry. Hotch had lied to us all. They said Emily had died but here she is standing in front of us all. What hurt the most was that JJ, my own cousin, had lied about it too.

"I'm so sorry," Emily said as she walked over to us all. "I really am. I wanted to tell you guys." She made her way over to me. "I really did." She grabbed my hands and in that moment I didn't care what had happened. My friend was back with me and I gave her the biggest hug I could muster. My feelings were still hurt, but my wish had come true. That was worth the pain.

We didn't have time for a nice reunion as we still had a lot of work to do in finding Declan. With Emily back with us, we were able to get a lot more done. We narrowed our suspects to Declan's mother. Our suspicions were confirmed by Ian. Of course, he didn't have any idea on how to stop this woman, but Spencer decided that we should do a trade: Ian for Declan. I eagerly agreed with him.

The plan did not go as smoothly as we had hoped. Ian, Declan's mother, and a few others were killed. But we were able to save Declan's life. Unfortunately for us, the Senate Committee did not appreciate our actions. We were all called into a hearing about our actions and how we handled the situation. Apparently they think we are a rogue and insubordinate team.

When I arrived for the meeting, just about everyone else was there as well. "Hey," I said walking up to the group. I was the last to arrive. "Did I miss anything?"

"Not yet, Buttercup," said Penelope, who was pacing nervously. "But I wish they would hurry up! I hate this waiting!"

"Easy, Mama." Derek put his arm around her. She still looked incredibly tense. Just like I felt. "Everything is going to be okay."

An uneasy silence fell amongst us as we waited. JJ was the first to be called in. Penelope continued to pace as JJ was being interrogated by the Committee. It felt like she was in there for hours. I was the second person to be called in. Penelope wished me luck as I walked in with my head held high. As I sat down in from of the Senate, I felt like I was on trial. Which, I kind of was, which did nothing to help my terror.

"State your name and position." I was asked right off the bat.

"Uh, Lila O'Haul. I'm the Communications Liaison." I folded my hands on the table, trying to look professional.

"You assumed the position after Agent Jennifer Jareau left, correct?" According to the name plate, Cramer was asking me the questions.

"That is correct, sir."

"Do you feel you are competent at your job or that you got your position because of your family relations to Agent Jareau?"

I was insulted. "The fact that Agent Jareau is my cousin is how I was introduced to the team but it's my qualifications that got me a job with the BAU."

"So you don't think that the fact that you and a family member both work on the same team, compromises it in anyway?"

"No, sir, not at all. In fact, I think it makes the team stronger."

"When Doyle was brought into custody, Agent Reid suggested to trade Doyle for the boy." Cramer jumped right into the Ian Doyle debacle. "You were the first person to back him up, is that correct?" He stared down at me as he asked his questions.

"I backed up, _Doctor_ Reid, yes," I said, making sure I was sitting up as straight as I could. I didn't want him to know how intimidated I was.

"Could this be because of your romantic relationship with him?"

"Excuse me?" I was dumbfounded. There is no reason for him to think that Spencer and I are romantically involved. First of all, we're not dating. We never have been. Secondly, the only time we kissed was years ago before I started working here. Neither of which should effect my current situation.

"I'm sure you're aware of how the bureau feels about this." He kept his eyes trained on mine.

"I'm aware that there is nothing in our code of ethics of inter-bureau dating." I read over the code of ethics very thoroughly. I mostly did it to make sure there was no conflict of interest with JJ and me working together (and I'm very pleased I did since Cramer tried to trip me up with that). I didn't know how it was with family working for the same unit. It wasn't encouraged, but there was nothing saying family couldn't work together. And I might have also looked to see if there was anything in there that would forbid Spencer and me dating. Just out of curiosity of course. There is not. "Also," I continued, "there is not a romantic relationship between Doctor Reid and myself."

"Are you aware of the security cameras in the building?"

"Yes, I am."

"Then I'm sure it would come as no surprise to you that we have video footage of you and Agent Reid in a compromising position." One of the gentlemen on the end came over and placed a picture on the table in front of me. It was a picture from the night I gave Spencer a scalp massage because of his headaches. From the angle it did look like we were kissing.

"I can assure you, this is a misunderstanding. Doctor Reid was suffering from a migraine from lack of sleep. I'm sure you're aware of how tolling working in the field is and how scarce sleep is during a case. I use to get these migraines all the time in undergrad and graduate school, so I thought I could help him. If you check a different camera angle you'll be able to tell we are not kissing."

Cramer didn't seemed pleased with my answer but he let the subject drop. He continued his interrogation for another ten or so minutes. Trying to make us sound like a rogue team. It wasn't going to work. I wasn't going to condemn my team like that. These people are my family and I love them.

Finally, I was dismissed and escorted to a different room. JJ was in there, pacing just as Penelope was surely doing in the other waiting area. "Lila!" JJ ran to me and gave me a hug. "I'm glad you're out of there too."

"Same," I said as I pulled away from her. "That was terrible. He's trying so hard for us to turn on each other. I hate it."

"I know. I understand they're probably facing a lot of pressure from higher up but this is not how to handle it." JJ ran a hand through her hair. "Did they ask you about us working together?"

"Yeah. Cramer asked if I thought it compromised the team."

"He asked me that too. I told him no, we're stronger as a family."

"That's exactly what I said." I smiled, knowing my cousin thought we were better together united as one than pulled in separate directions. "They also tried to get me for dating Spencer. Which I have no doubt is something they'll bring up when he goes in as well. I just hope he holds it together as well I as pretended to."

"Oh, god, of course Cramer pulled that angle." She sounded exasperated which is exactly how I felt. "You wanna sit down?" She gestured to a nearby bench. "It's easier to sit and wait with someone than by myself."

I nodded and followed her to the brown, wooden bench. I flattened the dress I was wearing and sat, crossing my ankles. A beat of silence passed. "This has been a tough several months," I said.

She nodded. "Yeah, it has. And I'm so sorry I couldn't tell you the truth about Emily. I wanted to, I really did."

"Hey, it's fine. I understand. I'm not happy about it and I'm still a bit hurt but I'm not gonna hold your responsible for it. It was a sucky situation to be in. For all of us to be in. But you're my cousin, and I love you."

"I love you too, Li." She gave me her classic JJ smile that I couldn't help but return. She reached out and grabbed my hand. We sat in silence, holding hands, until Penelope joined us.

"Oh, my gosh, that was terrible." She raced over towards us. "I never want to go through that again."

"You and me both, Garcia," my cousin said. "They gave Lila a run for her money too."

Penelope looked between JJ and myself. "What did they say to you?" she asked.

"Oh, something along the lines of 'you're clearly fucking Reid which means the team isn't stable' or some shit like that." I tried to deepen my voice to imitate Cramer. I'm sure I did a terrible job but got my point across nonetheless.

"He did not." Penelope looked between JJ and myself.

"Oh, he sure did. Once I put my foot down on the issue he then tried to get me to turn on the team and pretty much admit that we're all wild and crazy." I rolled my eyes, getting irritate again all over again over my interrogation.

"Ugh, this is terrible." Penelope weaseled her way onto the bench with JJ and myself. We were a bit squished, but it didn't matter. We were together.

One by one, we were joined by the others else until finally everyone had gone through and done individual talks. We were then asked to come in as a group. Even though I tried to avoid him for obvious reasons, I ended up sitting next to Spencer. I was sure the Committee would take note of that.

Cramer made sure to point out how we went against protocol and almost let an international felon get away. We also put an innocent boy's life in danger. I was half expecting him to fire us all then and there. But instead all of us, save Emily, were dismissed. During her alone time, she was able to convince the Committee that we worked well together and that no one else could do the jobs that we do. We were able to all stay together, but we would be under close watch. What else is new, though?

We were all very relieved and after it was all said and done, we were able to go home. Spencer and I had both taken the train in that day so we decided to walk to the station together.

"Today has been wild and crazy," I said lightly as we reached our destination.

"Yeah, definitely not something I want to experience again," he added.

"Same." I had wanted to ask him what Cramer had brought up during his interrogation, but I didn't want to say anything in front of the others. Not everyone knew about how I almost kissed Spencer several months back and I planned on keeping in that way.

"Did, uh, did Cramer ask you about me?" Thankfully he was the one to bring it up.

"Yeah. Did he ask you about me?" Our train pulled up and people began to exit. Once the flow stopped, we got on and took our seats.

"Yeah." He didn't need to go into details for me to know what he was referring to. Obviously whatever Spencer had said didn't negatively impact us. That's all that matters.

We rode the train in a comfortable silence. After a super stressful day, it was nice to be able to relax a bit. Even if it was on a crowded train. Sitting next to Spencer just put me at ease. During the train ride, I kept glancing over at him and I know he was doing that same to me. With a causal sigh, I leaned my head over and rested it on his shoulder. He tensed then relaxed, making me smile.

As my stop approached, I straightened up, composing myself. "Oh, just in case you didn't know," I got up from my seat as the train pulled into the station by my apartment. "There's nothing in the code of ethics against dating within the bureau or working with family."

"Oh, uh, I guess I assumed so, but never read up on it myself." Spencer seemed a bit taken aback that I brought it up. Honestly, I'm not sure why I did. It just felt like something I should say to him.

"I looked it up when JJ came back. You know, to make sure I wasn't breaking any rules."

"Oh, I guess that makes sense," replied Spencer.

The train doors opened. "This is my stop. I'll see you at work tomorrow, Spencer."

"See you, Lila." He waved at me as I got off the train. I stood there for a moment, watching the train as it went off to its next destination before heading home.

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Another chapter done! I'm probably gonna go through season 7 fairly quickly. There isn't a lot there that I want to work with. And season 8 we have Maeve which brings in another plot line that I'm super excited to work with.

Anyways, did you guys watch the season 13 premiere? What did you think? I really liked it and am excited to see how Spencer is going to deal with being out of prison and how I can work that into my story. Season 12 has such good material, I'm pumped for season 13. Until next time, loves!


	13. A Party and A Dissertation

Day late and a dollar short am I right? Sorry for being trash and updating on Tuesday. But I love you guys so much and I am really happy with how this chapter turned out. Enjoy!

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He was happy to be heading home after a tough case. A guy was impersonating the Zodiac Killer to try to get his best friend's attention. It was a crazy case and actually put his intelligence to the test. There hadn't been a case before where he felt like the unsub might actually be smarter than him. It was almost like he met his equal. He found it a bit thrilling.

The case not only pushed him mentally, it did so with the rest of his team. To the point where they had forgotten about his birthday. Not that he minded. He was turning thirty. And he felt like he hadn't really accomplished much in that time. No need to celebrate when there was nothing to celebrate.

When he casually mentioned his new age to Prentiss, he should have known something would happen. On the plane back he was focused on Lila going over notes for her dissertation. He saw in her planner that her defense of it was approaching and he could see the nervousness all over her. She was chewing the inside of her mouth more as well as her fingers. She was pulling and twisting her hair whenever she glanced at the date, probably filled with anxiety. But he was so focused on watching Lila, that he didn't think twice about Prentiss on her phone, probably texting, then looking at all of their teammate. If he actually put some of his brain power to that, he probably would have found it suspicious.

After they had landed he went to fill out the proper paper work. It didn't take him too long. Maybe an hour at most. As he was walking out, Prentiss grabbed him, saying Hotch wanted to have a word. He groaned. He assumed this had to do with how he was acting but he was pleasantly surprised that that was not the case. Prentiss took him to the conference room where everyone was gathered for a makeshift birthday party. They even had a cake and everything. He figured Garcia was the mastermind behind that. She loved throwing parties.

He was having a great time, laughing and talking with his friends. His family. He found that his eyes kept going towards Lila. She had given him a tight hug as she wished him happy birthday and apologized for not realizing it. He loved holding her close to him, pressing his cheek against her head. It felt so natural to him. There was no awkwardness. No hesitation. No fear of germs. It was like he was supposed to touch her.

As the party went on and they all ate the delicious cake that Garcia had, in fact, gotten for the occasion. He noticed at one point, Lila step outside to take a phone call. This wasn't odd given her position. He was hoping it wasn't a new case. They had just gotten back from one and were having a good time. He actually wanted to continue his little birthday party.

When she came back in, she looked upset and a bit disheveled. He wanted to ask her what was wrong, but didn't want to bring unwanted attention to her. She was keeping her eyes down and to the edge of the group. Whatever was bothering her she obviously didn't want to discuss with everyone in the room. Garcia was on her in an instant, though. Maybe it was a special girl sense to know when your best friend was in trouble and pain. He figured he'd leave it to Garcia then. Whatever was bothering Lila, she herself would tell him when she was ready or Garcia would spill the beans probably sooner than later.

With a bit of inward coaxing, he focused his attention to JJ and a story she was telling about Henry and how he had managed to get peanut butter all over the kitchen. Hearing this funny and heartwarming story really made him want to have kids. He had always been scared to, worried he'd pass the schizophrenia gene down to them. But the odds of having a schizophrenic break past the age of thirty were second to none and had made him feel like he actually could have healthy children.

The party slowly started to wind down. They all started to clean up their area and leave. Garcia had handed him the leftover cake for him to bring home. He appreciated it. He noticed Lila hanging around Garcia and whispering quietly to her. He was hoping she would have said something to him, but she did not. After a final goodbye to everyone, he left the conference room. As he was approaching the exit he heard footsteps from behind him.

"Hey." Lila had caught up to him, lightly touching his shoulder. His attention was caught instantly as he turned his body towards her. She still looked upset but more composed than she did earlier. "We're getting closer to when I'm supposed to defend my dissertation." He remembered seeing that on her planner and thought that might have been what her phone call was about. "And I was wondering if I could maybe meet up with you and have you look over what I have? I'm really nervous and you've done this how many times now?"

"Three." His answer came out almost before she asked the question. He had an inkling that maybe she had asked a rhetorical question but it was in his nature to answer anyways.

"Right," she said and he couldn't tell if she was annoyed or not. "Will you help me?"

That definitely was not rhetorical. "Sure." He smiled and nodded. "You can come over to my apartment tomorrow after work if you want. As long as we don't have a case."

"Thank you so much, Spencer! I owe you one!" It was like her mood was instantly lifted. She walked away with a smile on her face. As did he.

The next day at work they agreed to meet up around seven. She wanted to go back to her place and change into more comfortable clothes before their meetup. And she needed to gather up all her papers. That was fine with him. He'd use the extra time to make sure his apartment was in pristine condition. It usually was but he didn't often have guests as pretty as her show up. He wanted to make sure it was perfect.

About three minutes past seven there was a knock on his apartment door. He practically jumped up and raced to the door, not even bothering to look in the peephole. He knew it was her. "Hey," he said, smiling as he opened the door.

"Hey. Thanks again for offering to help me. It really means a lot." She had a bag filled with what he assumed were papers with her. Sure he didn't need to carry around as much research as the average PhD student did, but she did. It showed how dedicated she was to her studies and he greatly admired that. He also took a split second to admire what she was wearing. Her shirt was cropped, exposing her stomach. It looked like she might have had a belly button piercing at one point, but not anymore. It was lacy and he had to admit he really liked the lace. He liked the tight black pants she had paired with it as well.

"Of course," he said, pulling his thoughts away from her outfit to her face. She wasn't wearing any make up, like usual. He liked her natural beauty. Though the times he had seen her more dolled up he also liked. "Come in." He stepped aside and let her enter. He caught a whiff of her shampoo as she walked past him.

"I really like your apartment. It's very you," she said as she looked around. This made him feel proud. He loved his little home and all the books he had collected. He was glad she could appreciate it too.

She was looking at his bookshelf, glancing at all the books he had. She stopped at one and frowned. "Are you still getting migraines?" She pointed to his book about migraines and how to cope with them. He knew he had it but he didn't think about trying to hide it from her.

"Sometimes. They're not always that bad though. Not like before. But yeah, I still get them." There was a moment where they just looked at each other. This gaze made him uncomfortable and he wasn't sure why. He cleared his throat before speaking again. "We can get set up on the couch if you like." He gestured towards his couch and coffee table.

She nodded and placed her bag down next to her on the couch, seeming to move past the headache issue. "I brought literally every single piece of information I have used to write this paper as well as every single draft of this paper I have ever written. And I did this because I know how you are with technology, even though I have all of this saved in files on my laptop. But I figured you wouldn't have wifi here. Anyways, I'm pretty sure I murdered a small forest printing all this off so for the sake of all those forest animals who no longer have a home, you better give me some good ass help."

He couldn't help but laugh a bit at this. She came totally prepared and he admired that. Especially since she took the time to make this as tech free as she could. He sat down next to her and grabbed a pile of papers. With ease, he made his way through them all reading every single word at an extraordinary speed.

Over the next couple hours he read and offered advice on how to make her paper better. She'd jot down notes and rewrite passages. This took longer than normal as she was doing it all by hand. He knew she was a quick typist. He'd seen her in action before.

During their meeting he'd notice her phone light up. She'd look at it, reading whatever was on the screen, but she wouldn't reply. He couldn't help but notice that it was Ben who was texting her. And every time he did, she seemed to get more and more upset and make more and more mistakes on her paper. She was at the point where she was violently scribbling out passages that she was writing, almost tearing the paper.

"Maybe we should stop for the day," he casually mentioned. "You've made a lot of progress. You should be proud."

"I guess," she mumbled. He could hear the frustration in her voice and see how upset she was. Whatever was going on with Ben was effecting her school work. He didn't like that.

After gathering a bit of courage he asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

Her eyes shot up to him, meeting them with intensity. The conflict of whether or not to talk about it was going happening on her face and he almost felt bad for asking. Finally, she took a deep breath and spoke. "Ben and I... we're just having a bit of a rough patch." He could tell this was really bothering her. She pulled her knees to her chest and her eyes started to well. She was very distraught.

"What's going on?" he asked. His concern for her was real. He hated seeing her like this. Even though he didn't care for Ben, Ben made her happy. And that's how he likes to see her. Happy. Not on the verge of tears.

"Ben's coming to the end of his probationary period. He'll be able to transfer wherever he wants. The plan was for him to come here. Work from DC or somewhere close by. But, there's a detective spot open in Wyoming. And they want him there. They want him bad. The money is good, the benefits better. It's closer to his friends and family. The only thing missing is-"

"You." He finished for her. He could hear the pain her in voice and see the anguish on her face. Her love for Ben runs deep. He hoped to one day feel that type of love (especially from her). But now was not the time for him to be selfish and think of himself. His friend was hurting and he needs to be there for her.

"Yeah, basically. I want to be selfish and make him turn it down. But I can't do that to him. This is a great opportunity. I just...I don't know what it means for us if he takes it."

"He hasn't decided yet?"

She shook her head. "He has another two weeks before he needs to let them know his decision. He wants to come out here before hand and talk with me about it face to face. As much as I want that, I don't think that's a good idea."

"You think it'll be too hard to say good bye." He didn't need to be a profiler to know that. Her thoughts were written all over her face. Tears started to spill from her blue eyes. He wanted to reach over and wipe them away but thought that would be inappropriate of him to do that. Endorphins get released during physical touch and even though it's a small amount, he didn't want to be the cause of any more hurt or confusion for her.

"Exactly. I love Ben so much. We've been through so much together. Not just this past time, but since the beginning. When I started my internship at the Seattle Police Department back when I was still an undergrad, he had just finished his academy training to be a police officer there. He was my first real relationship, my first real lover, my first real everything. I know we've broken up in the past and I swore that I would never date him again. Yet time after time I always wound up with him. But now...now it seems like it really is coming to an end. I...I can't commit to him if he decides to go to Wyoming. It's not fair to me and it's not fair to him either."

"I'm really sorry, Lila." He wasn't sure what else to say. He'd never really experienced that before. He'd gone on one date with JJ years ago. Obviously that didn't work out. He had a short fling with Lila Archer. That also didn't work out. Other than that, a handful of women had tried to flirt with him. Nothing ever came of those either. He was very much a novice when it came to women, romance, and relationships. Still, he could feel the pain radiating off of her and that was enough to make him hurt as well.

"Thank you, Spencer. I know you're not Ben's biggest fan but I really appreciate you taking the time to listen to me rant." She smiled kindly at him causing his face to grow a shade darker. He hated how much he blushed around her. It was like a virus that there was no cure for. "I think I should be going home. I want to put all the edits I made on my computer. I can reprint it and have you read a nice clean version then."

"That's a good idea. We can get together again before your defense if you want."

"Thank you, Spence." She put all her papers away and stood up. "I really appreciate your help. All of it."

He got up as well and opened his apartment door for her. "I'll see you at work, Lila," he said quietly.

"See you," she said softly. She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving. He closed the door behind her, strongly wishing for Ben to take the position in Wyoming.

* * *

Did you guys like it? I hope you did. I know most of you don't like Ben and now it looks like he will be out of the picture. What does this mean? Find out soon!


	14. Wedding

What's this? An update? It can't be! But it is!

So I'm a trash human being and I realize that and I'm so sorry for being trash but sadly that is just my personality. This story is not abandoned. It's just...going through a slow phase. I'll give a more in depth life update and what's in store for the future at the end of the chapter. For now, thank you to everyone who has not given up and who continues to read this. Love you guys!

* * *

I was in my room, calling my parents as the day played out again and again in my head. There had been a bank robbery in DC with some well known and not so well-known robbers. The bank exploded, Will ended up being taken and had a bomb strapped to him, and Henry was put in danger. My emotions and adrenaline was still running high when I had finally made it back home to my apartment. I had several missed calls, mostly all from family. They had seen the news, seen me on the news, and wanted to make sure everyone was okay.

The phone calls to my family went fairly quickly. I told them I was fine, we all were, and that I was very exhausted from everything that had happened. They understood and were just happy that I was safe. The phone call I was dreading the most was Ben. He had called several times and texted me even more.

He answered on the first ring. "There you are. Lila, I was worried sick watching the news! I was ready to get the first flight out to make sure you were alright."

"How do you think I felt actually being there?" I retorted, wanting nothing more than to go to bed. "And you don't have to do that. I'm perfectly fine. Just really tired."

I heard him sigh. "Lila…"

"Ben, please. I'm so tired."

"I know. I just…seeing the news…what if something happened?"

"Nothing happened."

"But it could have. Maybe…maybe we're making a mistake. I can still find something out in DC by you."

I laid down in bed, not in the mood to talk to him about this yet again. "Ben, I love you. I will always love you. But…you're just making things so much harder."

He sighed again. "I know, I know. I just…I love you too. This break up really fucking sucks."

"They're not supposed to be fun," I said softly.

There was a beat of silence before he spoke again. "Is the rest of your family safe?"

"Will's a little beat up but Henry and JJ are okay. Just shaken. We're having a surprise wedding for them tomorrow at Rossi's. Well, it's a surprise for JJ."

"That sounds like a good time. I wish I could be your plus one."

"Ben."

"I know. I just…" He trailed off and my heart ached. "I should go. I'm glad you're safe."

"Thanks, Ben."

"Bye, Lila."

"Bye, Ben." I hung up the phone first, feeling miserable. Ben and I had broken up a couple weeks ago and the pain was still going strong. Talking to him on the phone like that just made everything ten times worse.

I closed my eyes, still fully dressed from the days adventures. I didn't care. I just needed to sleep and reset myself. Hopefully the wedding would take my mind off everything going on in my person life.

The next day I spent most of it with Penelope. We both decided that we needed new dresses for the wedding, so we went out to get some. It was much needed girl time.

We browsed the dress racks as I told her about my phone call with Ben. "I was super short with him. I just didn't want to deal with all the mushy feely stuff."

"Totally understandable, Blondie. It's been what, two weeks since the official break up?" She glanced at me and I nodded. "You spent the first five days sobbing at my place."

"Don't remind me," I said, trying to push the pain back out of my mind. I could barely function when Ben and I first split and spent most of my free time with Penelope. Well I spent all my free time with her. She just had the best ice cream selection, the best movie selection, and the fuzziest blankets. Perfect for eating your feelings and drowning sorrows.

"This is my point. You're still healing and him barging in and being all sweet and caring and charming isn't going to help you get over him. You know what will?"

I signed. "Penny, please don't say dating Spencer."

"Okay, then…" She pressed her lips tightly together and looked between me and the dresses. After a few moments she spoke again, "but really, just give him a chance. He's so sweet and you know he really cares about you."

"I know he does, Penny. I'm not doubting him at all. I'm doubting myself. I'm upset and still miss Ben and I don't want just a rebound fling. Especially not with Spencer."

"You are killing my little shipper heart, you know that right?" Penelope said out of frustration and I laughed.

We continued shopping for dresses then got a quick lunch. I decided to go back to my place to get ready. I have an advisor meeting tomorrow in the morning so I wanted to make sure I had my own transportation to and from the wedding.

Once I was ready and had gone over my paper a few more times, I headed out to Rossi's. Almost everyone was already there. It was nice to see everyone. Especially my aunt, JJ's mom. Even though she's close I don't see her as much as I should. And she brought her old wedding dress for JJ which was really awesome of her.

Once JJ, Will, and Henry arrived, the big surprise was revealed. JJ was shocked but excited about it. Her mother's wedding dress fit her like a glove and she was absolutely glowing in it. Watching her getting married to the love of her life with her child by her side warmed my heart. It's a future I could only hope that someday I would have.

The reception was really nice as well. Rossi went all out in making sure there was plenty of food, drinks, and music to go around.

I helped myself to some of the delicious food and a glass of wine. I then went to join Penny and Derek in some intense dancing. It reminded me of my first time meeting everyone and dancing at the bar.

After several songs I went back to grab a sip of my wine. As I did, I saw Spencer head in my direction. I had been keeping an eye on him for most of the night. He looked so dapper in his suit it made my heart flutter. I had been wanting to talk to him, maybe even dance, but I had just gotten swept up in everything I had only been able to make small talk with him and steal some glances.

"Hey," he said softly once he approached me. I could tell by the ways he was switching the weight between his feet that he was nervous. "You look really nice."

"Thank you, Spencer." I blushed. "You do too."

He smiled his cute, awkward smile. "Thank you. Um, I was- I was wondering if you wanted to, uh, dance? With me?"

"I'd really love that, Spencer," I said, softly. The tone of the music had changed to a slow rhythm, perfect for a more intimate dance.

I let him lead me to the dance floor, the smiling never really leaving my face. I leaned into him easily as we started our dance. Spencer had his arms wrapped around me as we swayed to the music. Being in his embrace was so comforting, so natural. I could hear the faint beating of his heart as my head lay pressed against his chest. I let my eyes close for a moment as we moved. Part of me wanted to stay there forever. There was something just so...so right about being held by Spencer. Something familiar that I wanted to keep forever.

"Lila," Spencer said softly. I picked my head up and met his eyes. He was reading my face carefully. I could tell by how his eyes darted across every one of my features.

"Spence," I said matching his tone. I tightened my hold on him, wanting to keep him as close to me as possible. I could feel him do the same to me.

"You look so beautiful tonight." His comment made me blush and give a light laugh, even if it is the second time he's said it.

"Thank you, Spencer. That means a lot to me."

"You're welcome."

We continued dancing, our eyes locked on each other. Slowly, almost painfully, Spencer started to lean down towards me. His eyes flickering close as he did so. My breathe caught in my throat and I closed my eyes just before he gently pressed his lips against mine. This was probably his first time making the move and he was adorable how soft and gentle he was being. I easily captured his lips between mine as I kissed back.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about kissing him. I thought about it a lot, especially since splitting up with Ben. Grabbing Spencer and kissing him for all its worth as been the front thought on my mind and I've practically gone crazy not acting on it. I haven't because I'm not sure if I'm being genuine. And that's the reason I was the first one to pull away.

"Spencer," I whispered and his face instantly fell, my tone giving me away.

"I'm sorry." He quickly apologized. He tried to tear away from our dance but I wouldn't let him.

"Spencer, please don't apologize. Please. I want you, Spencer. Truly, I do. That kiss was amazing." The hurt and embarrassment I saw in his eyes made mine well. "I really like you, but I'm hurting. I'm still hurting a lot from my break up with Ben. It's not fair to you if I'm still getting over my feelings for him."

"You're right. I get it." He said flatly and averted his eyes from mine.

"I do want this, Spencer. I want you to kiss me again and again until I'm dizzy and can't think straight. But I'm scared if we do that now it won't be real and you'll just be a rebound. And you deserve so much better than that. You deserve the world, Spencer. And a girl who can give you that. And I don't think I can be that girl right now." We stopped swaying to the music and our arms fell apart. I stayed looking at him but his eyes were trained on his shoes.

"I really do care about you, Spencer," I said softly, hoping he would at least partially understand and not hate me.

He picked his head up and met my eyes. It was like a knife was cutting through me with the amount of hurt that was there. "I really care about you too, Lila. That's why this hurts so much." He held my eyes for another second before walking away. I wanted to go after him.

I wanted to throw my arms around him and kiss him, but I couldn't. Instead, I stood at the edge of the dance floor, trying not to cry.

I was holding myself together as I went to an empty table. Everyone was either on the dance floor or in the house, having the time of their lives. I watched JJ, holding onto Will tightly, smiling and laughing without a care in the world. The look in their eyes when they see each other is so magical. So pure. I was so happy for them yet in so much pain.

"My _bambino_ , what's wrong?" I looked up and saw Rossi taking a seat next to me, drink in hand. "This is a happy time. Why are you crying?"

"Because my life is a hot mess, Rossi." I sniffled, wiping my eyes.

"Working for the BAU, that's a given. What else is going on?" I couldn't help but smile. He did have a point.

"Well, to begin, I broke up with Ben and I'm still pretty torn up about that."

"I think I remember Penelope talking about it a couple weeks ago. I'm so sorry to hear that. I know you two were very serious." He seemed genuine with his apology. I really appreciated that. I know Penelope and to an extend JJ felt sorry for me but their sympathy only ran skin deep. They, specifically Penelope, didn't want me to end up with Ben. But Rossi looked and sounded like he actually cared to his core and that meant the world to me.

I grabbed my phone from where I had stored in it my bra and opened it to a conversation between Ben and myself. "We were." I showed Rossi. "These are pictures of rings I sent him. We were planning on getting engaged." I could feel the lump in my throat as I spoke. Talking about what could have been between Ben and myself still hurt my heart. I didn't want to be in this much pain, yet here I am.

"That is pretty serious." Rossi looked over what I showed him, taking it all in. "I'm sorry you're hurting so much."

"Thank you, Rossi." I turned my phone screen off so I didn't have to look at the rings anymore. I still couldn't bring myself to deleting the conversations.

"I probably have no room to give relationship advice as I've had three failed marriages, but for what it's worth I think you made the right decision."

"You're just saying that because you want Spencer and myself to get together."

"Ah, _bambino_ , unlike some here," I saw his eyes shift over to where Penelope was dancing with Derek, "I don't care who you're with. I just want you to be happy."

I couldn't help but smile. It was nice having the support of an unbiased party. Even if said party doesn't have the best track record when it comes to relationships. "So what do you think I should do?"

"That," he rose from his chair, "is not something I can tell you. What I can say is to listen to your heart, your gut, your brain, and go from there. Things have a way of working themselves out."

"You don't seem like the type of person who believes that." I narrowed my eyes at him. He was way too logical to go for the whole 'whatever's meant to be will work out' type.

"Ah," he said with a smile on his face. "But _you_ do." He took a swig of his drink, eyes twinkling, before walking away. That son of a bitch profiled me and told me exactly what would help me out the most. I want to be annoyed with the profiling but I didn't even care. His words helped me and that's all that matters.

My eyes skimmed the dance floor again. I found Spencer smiling and dancing with JJ. I wanted to go talk to him but I didn't want to ruin such a happy moment either.

"Care to dance?" Emily was standing over me with her arm extended.

"How can I refuse an offer like that?" I smiled and took her hand, following her to the dance floor. We held hands and swayed to the music.

"You look a bit distraught." Emily made the observation.

"Rossi already profiled me. I'm not letting that happen again," I said and smiled.

"Fair enough," she laughed. "Sometimes it's hard to turn off. But we don't have to talk about what's troubling you if you don't want. I actually wanted to talk to you about something specific." I nodded at her to continue. "I'm moving back to England to work for Interpol."

I stared at her, trying to grasp what she was saying. After being away for months, making us all think she's dead, she's going away again. She doesn't want to be here with us anymore. She wants to move across the world to another freaking country.

"Please don't think this has anything to do with you guys." The hurt was on my face plain as day and I couldn't help but assume that that was the cause of the guilt on hers. "I love you and I love working with you. But after being over in England I feel like my heart belongs there now. But just because I'm going to be far away does not mean I don't want to keep in contact. We can email every day and I'll do what I can to make as many trips out here to see you guys as I can."

I have experienced so many emotions over the last forty-eight hours that hearing Emily was leaving the family just tipped me over the edge. I couldn't talk. I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything. I just froze in my spot and started to cry again. Being the great friend Emily is, she pulled me into a tight tight hug and just let me cry. She ran her fingers through my hair and whispered soothing words to me. Once I had finally calmed down enough to speak, she pulled away. "You're one of my best friends, Lila."

"You're one of my best friends too," I choked out. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too." She wiped a few tears from my eyes. "But we'll get through this."

"Yeah. Yeah we will. And I'll be sure to come visit you too."

"I'd really like that," she said with a soft smile. "Are you gonna be okay if I go talk to Rossi now?"

"Yeah," I sniffled. "I'll be okay."

"I love you, Li." Emily squeezed my hands.

"Love you, too." I watched as she crossed the dance floor over to Rossi who easily swept her up in his arms.

I made my way back over to the drink table and helped myself to a new glass of wine. I wanted to drink several more, but I had a meeting in the morning with my doctoral advisor. I needed sobriety for that.

The night slowly wore on with me avoiding most people, especially Spencer. Our eyes would find each other every now and then I could feel the pang in my heart each time. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt him and that's exactly what I'm doing.

I was one of the first people to leave the party. Partly because I wanted to go home and wallow in self-pity and partly because I needed a decent night of sleeping for my meeting. I said good-bye to everyone, taking my time with Emily. When I got to Penny, she instantly knew something more was up but thankfully didn't push me. Spencer was the last on my list.

"I'm heading home." I slowly walked up to him, unsure of how I should approach.

"Be safe," he said flatly.

"Thanks, I will. I have an advising meeting in the morning." I didn't know what else to say. I was rocking back and forth on my feet, my hands twisting together behind my back. "I'm nervous."

"You'll do great. Your dissertation is solid." His voice remained flat.

"Spencer, I-"

"Please, Lila. I don't want to hear it. It was hard enough to get rejected when you were still with Ben and now that you're not together, I'm still getting rejected by you. Please, just…just leave me alone." His words were riddled with anguish and I felt a stab in my stomach. This was all my fault. The least I could do was respect his wishes.

"Okay, Spencer." I kept my head down as I walked away from him and towards my car. I waited until I was back in my apartment, ready for bed, before I started to cry.

* * *

I hope this lived up to what your imaginations had created during the hiatus. I also threw a little bit of foreshadowing in there. Now for the other stuff,

Life update: During the hiatus I got promoted (which I think I said before), got food poisoning, went to Disney, got the stomach flu, got my manager fired, applied to grad school, broke my computer, and now am planning another Disney trip for next week.

Future of story: I can't say when the next update will be for sure since I am going on vacation again. There definitely won't be another gap like this last one. Once I come back I can plan this a little bit better and give you guys more of a schedule.

That's about it! I hope you guys liked it!


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